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An Expression, An Ode

April 15
by
Julius High
in
Creative Outlets
with
.

Expression is an expulsion of the self, sense of being, and a freedom to live, so here I am ready to express myself.


I am a human, and I am flawed. There is both light that is elicited from my bright and eager smiles, exposed from the volume of a careless laugh and exemplified in the tender expressions of love that radiate among my friends and I, but there is also a darkness. There is a darkness that gnaws at the crevices of my core, excited to discover any routes of escape. A darkness that overflows as it seeps through engagements of sadness and disparity. This darkness releases itself in waves of sadness or episodes of lavish rage. Remember I am a human and I am flawed.

I am my own destruction as I am my own foundation.

I am an entity of love just as I am constructed out of the most paramount forms of rage and despair. I am pure, but I am also as tainted as they come. I am loved, fetishized, desired, and revered just as I am hated, berated, slandered and ostracized.

To describe myself would simply be to state that I am a balance of right and wrong, of love and hate, of humanity and wilder.

There may be days that I want to cry a sorrow so deep and so wide that bewilders my spirit by its very thought, but there are days that my core rises afloat, illuminating my body and crawling through the creases of my mouth exposing a laugh or exposed grin.

I would like to express my entirety to all of you, its thick, tarnished poisons, its luminous explicit bliss, and its testifying fury. I would like to express my hatred of the demonizing enemy to my expression and to my very being, to indifference.

%tags Creative Outlets

Indifference is the murderer, indifference is the culprit, and indifference is the one whom is praised, empowered and favored.

But what about love, what about a purity seemingly so far fetched as it is craved by any and every single being. It is the magnificence of love and its mystical lucidity that should be boasted about as opposed to the frigid and vile behavior of indifference.

I scowl at the ridicule inhabiting my mind as I ponder upon the indifference of a past lover, who dimmed my light as his shadow grew with every pittance of my unrequited love. Darkness so wild and strong submerged me in episodes of sadness and grief. How intense a feeling to bestow upon myself, a mind so dimmed and dampened, but so juvenile in thought and dare I say, existence.

“I do not care” is the birthplace of a monster, the castration of the feeling of warmth and tenderness that is love. How foolish it is to minimize your feelings, your emotions, and foundations just to emit a veil of dark energy throughout a world already filled with turmoil and evil, but then again you are ‘indifferent’, and you lack the ability to feel or to express.

Express yourself, express your love, and express your light.

To the friends that have entwined me in golden raptures of sweet bliss, I love you. To past friends, whom ponder on my image in pitch darkness, I wish you the best and I hope to have bestowed you with pride and the ability of growth and expression.

To a faint past lover, thank you for teaching me under your shadowed wings, thank you for teaching me that I must love myself first, and thank you for shrouding me in gloomy darkness in order for me recollect pieces of myself and place them together to build a stronger core and a greater capacity to love, to feel.

To all of you, you have the power to piece me together, to shape my memory and mind by the memories we have created together. Thank you to all and thank you for expression.


 

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