The most earth-rattling, indescribable word.
How is it possible that it only takes a matter of seconds to never see someone again? Never talk to them again. Never see their life-changing smile again.
You try to come up with any and every possible reason why they were taken away from you, but you never find one that can heal the pain.
Everyone experiences all types of pain, from physical ache to heartbreak, but this type of pain is unbearable.
Sure, you learn how to suppress it on occasion, but that pain becomes a part of you.
It is a giant hole in your being, because the person you lost helped shape you.
I envy those who can find overwhelming peace by turning to the Lord in this unbearable time.
I wish I had that kind of relationship with God, to not have a doubt in my mind that everything was going to be okay. That the person I lost was the happiest they’ve ever been in the gates of heaven.
But the sad truth is that I do not know. I do doubt.
At only 21 years old, how have I already experienced so much loss?
How was my best friend’s boyfriend so unhappy at the naïve age of 16 that he took his own life?
How could the most uplifting coach, mentor, and teacher be killed so suddenly, leaving behind his two little children without a dad?
How could three boys that were just about to embark on the best four years of their life encounter such a tragic incident, leaving one mentally handicapped and one gathering the community for a funeral?
How could everyone’s favorite Auburn Tiger, with the most God fearing family, no longer walk this earth?
And how could five beautiful college girls, that have made such a remarkable impact, have their futures cut short?
I have to believe everything happens for a reason.
I have to believe that heaven is one hell of a party.
I have to believe that these beautiful people served their purpose on earth, even in such a short time frame.
And I have to believe that eventually… we will all be okay.