The greatest gift my mother has ever given me was a love for books. As a little girl, she would often read to me; I didn’t realize it then, but those precious moments before bed would turn help me realize the importance and solidarity of girl power.
Long before I was interested in makeup or boys, I was fascinated with literature. It’s a running joke in my family that if I ever went missing I was most likely to be found tucked in a corner somewhere, too engrossed in a book to hear the cries for dinner.
My favorite stories growing up were those of heroes; I was never interested in tales of the damsel in distress, whose only purpose in a novel was to serve as the love interest for the male protagonist.
I idolized characters such as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter and Jo March from Little Women because instinctually, I saw myself in both of them. Brash, bookish, and opinionated, these characters were not princesses but game-changers in the novels they resided in.
I was dismayed that my fellow Americans chose a man who dismissed claims of sexual assault because he concluded the accusers were “too ugly.” Horrified, I read articles that spoke of the possibility of criminalizing abortion, of women losing the right in determining their own healthcare.
In the same year that saw the first female presidential candidate and a chance to break a 238-year-old glass ceiling, we met a man who had a well-documented history of mocking and degrading women. A man who still managed to receive 62 million votes, and claim the title of our future president.
Women did not receive the right to vote in the U.S. until 1920. For many, Roe vs. Wade is more recent memory than history; the landmark Supreme Court trial disallowing state restrictions on abortions did not occur until 1973.
We make 80 cents to a man’s dollar, and in some workplaces women are still penalized for maternity leave. Although women have increased their numbers in the 21st century, men still historically dominate STEM careers.
With the New Year comes with the promise of new changes. 2017 ushers in President-elect Trump, who many fear will doom the country to an unstable fate. But the time for fear is over; instead, it’s time for action.
In the face of seemingly menacing promises, women need to stand up for what they believe in and support their fellow women. We need to stand strong in the face of an administration that seemingly wants to suppress our voices; by electing an individual who so openly disrespected women in the past, his views are not likely to change anytime soon.
Most importantly, we need to educate our youth on the potential of girl power. The girls of tomorrow can be anything they want: a lawyer, doctor, or the first female president. One day, I hope to raise a daughter like my mom raised me; someone who’s passionate with a love of reading, who is inspired and encouraged to reach for their dreams.
I’m a woman with a good amount of male friends. Perhaps it’s because I’ve entered a rather male dominated discipline, and only eight women sit in our class of around 40. I get along with my guy friends; we’re a close knit group of friends.
For the most part, it doesn’t bother me that I am often the only woman in the room. I hold my own in projects, exams, and heated debates.
However, over the years I have also learned to accept that as close as we may be, my male colleagues and friends will never understand the fear and uncertainty that comes behind being the lone woman in a male dominated world.
There is a constant nagging insecurity in the back of mind, a little voice that implants the thought that perhaps I am not as interesting, smart, witty, or humorous as I think I am.
That my male friends and peers choose to be friendly because there is some underlying motive to bed me.
I do not think that it is narcissistic to realize that one is conventionally attractive or at least, not unattractive to the men around her. It is a sad thought that appearance might just trump all the other wonderful qualities she might possess. It is depressing and demeaning to think that my appearance is the only quality someone might notice.
A close girl friend summed up the experience of what it’s like to date as a model. Some of the men she went on dates with have tuned out her deep analysis of the current state of international affairs, having only one comment after she had demonstrated wit, humor, and a sound knowledge of politics:
“You’re so hot.”
As in, not “your intelligence is very attractive to me” or “I like that you’re into yoga” but simply more along the lines of “your physical beauty is very attractive.” I do not think that women are ungrateful of the compliments that we often receive for our aesthetics like some of my male friends may believe. Rather, I think we are tired of being seen as ONLY being pretty.
That we cannot also be equally intelligent or funny or ambitious in our professional lives.
Although I am not nearly as pretty as my friend and am most certainly not in the modeling industry, I do not think I’m alone when I say that the words that come out of my mouth have been ignored or dismissed so that the guy can focus more on my lips.
I have been cut off in the midst of explaining my political views by a forced kiss, which may seem romantic in movies but only ends up coming across as insulting. It only reinforces the idea that he really wasn’t listening to anything that I was saying.
He was only waiting for a moment to turn on the sexual heat.
So when my male friends complain about attractive girls having an unfair advantage, I want to remind them that it is a double edged sword. While they may have guys offering them free drinks, they also often go unheard on the issues that really matter to them.
Pretty girls can be more than just pretty, but their other qualities are often lost on the people around them. Their worth lies in their personality rather than the physical beauty that they were merely born with. So I urge both women and men everywhere to try and dispel the age old archetype of the dumb pretty girl and the ugly nerd.
Caroline V. Corbitt is an intended Graphic Design major and Photography minor at the University of Georgia. She did a series, with the help of her close friend Ashlyn Davis, titled Milk Eggs Flour for one of her photo classes. Her series depicts herself being covered with the three ingredients milk, eggs and flour, to portray the falsity of feminine ideals.
The idea behind her piece has to do with the fact that women believe they have to be perfect all the time.
“Women are under so much pressure to be better than other women,” she says,” It’s crazy how much we rely on our looks and makeup to feel beautiful.”
She covered herself in these key ingredients to show that you can feel beautiful no matter how you look.
“It’s really about how you feel,” she explains,”I feel the most beautiful when I’ve just taken a shower and am bundled up watching T.V., just clean.”
“That’s not how many girls want boys to see them however, and that’s just crazy to me!”
“I felt beautiful when being photographed covered in goo and all women should feel beautiful, even if there is egg on their face.”
“Women should be able to be their whole selves and feel good. We put all kinds of junk on our faces to be ‘beautiful’, and when it comes down to it, it’s really just junk that clogs your pours!”
Artist’s website: sw33tc4r0.tumblr.com
“I deserve better —such a dangerous, mad thought for a woman to entertain.”
― Meredith Duran, At Your Pleasure
I deserve better. You deserve better. We deserve better.
The phrase “I deserve better” is still a radical thought for women. We are taught at a young age to be completely selfless. This is a cultural norm for everyone, but the point is stressed further to young girls. We are taught to give constantly without much thought of receiving. This needs to change. We need to fight for selfishness and embrace the idea that we deserve better.
Sometimes it seems like I am the only 21-year-old female without a significant other. Or at least that is the impression I get when friends and family back home say “So, still single or do you have a boyfriend?”
The first thing wrong with this statement is the presumption that I need a guy in my life. I feel that I need to focus on myself right now. I deserve to be selfish and enjoy my life while I’m young and able to seek new opportunities. I deserve to go and excel in my internship this summer and find new opportunities in a potential professional career.
On the other side of the argument, there is nothing wrong with finding that significant other, but the call for selfishness remains. Nobody should settle for less than you deserve. I believe that a basis in faith is important in finding your soul mate. If your boyfriend has different morals or values, don’t compromise what you believe for someone.
Another important aspect for me is family. If a man cannot accept your family, he is not prepared to accept you. Women should demand the same level of respect for people they care about and not cower to other people’s opinions. Settling is a slippery slope that can lead to unhappiness later down the road. My job for all girls is to stand up for what you believe in and refuse to settle for any boy who is not prepared to be a man.
One battle that women constantly fight is equal treatment in the workplace. It is sad that women can still be seen as just the secretaries in business settings. I am in a major and career track that is dominated by women, Public Relations, but still I will make less than any man working the same exact job.
I feel that I need to work even harder to make up for my gender. This is completely ridiculous in modern society. Two women have announced they are running for president. If that does not show the correct way to claim some selfishness I do not know what else can. We should demand the respect we deserve and not just meekly ask for it. I am not condoning being rude or obnoxious toward people in the workplace or in life, I am only pushing women as a whole to fight for what we deserve.
Women need to be selfish for ourselves. As a culture we need to stop creating a cycle of suppression that starts at a young age when little girls take care of the baby doll while the little boys save the world as a super hero.
We owe the next generation to make ourselves into heroines that girls can look up to and say, “I want to be her when I grow up.” A little bit of selfishness can go a long way when it means that we can think for ourselves first. This may be in a potential relationship, a job offer, or an assignment or position in school. So as a whole I want everyone to ask himself or herself a simple question.
Don’t you deserve better?