It seems as though as more time passes on, the more often I log in to my Facebook and find yet another post on my news feed written in honor and remembrance of a loved one that has taken their life.

Loved ones lost too soon due to the overlooked, underestimated, all-encompassing power that a mental illness has the potential to hold on our minds. Depression (alone, or in the wake of other mental illnesses) is more and more confused by the uneducated as merely just a feeling or phase, rather than a mental health condition with the need for understanding, attention, and treatment. To my point, it is imperative that society becomes more cognizant of the crisis we are facing, especially among adolescents and young adults, today.

One life lost to suicide is one life too many, and as time goes by we are seeing more lives being voluntarily taken because of the overbearing angst, crisis, and sweeping lack of hope those suffering are consumed by.

This form of epidemic we are seeing is one that should be completely preventable. Yet more people we know, or have mutual friends with, will continue to suffer from depression, take their lives, and that still may not be enough to bring about the awareness we all need pay careful attention to.

Which leads me to my point about compassion. It is crucial that we understand and practice the importance of being compassionate toward others, whether they happen to be close to us or not. We are all human, we all feel, and we all hurt. Most importantly, we all need to know we are loved. Yes, it may sound a little silly, but this concept is basic and our society’s mental stability depends on it.

To continuously know we are heard, to know we are cared about, and to know we are not alone all have the potential to foster a sense of faith and hope in someone struggling that could quite possibly be a leading reason as to why when we are suffering, we keep holding on. In the past few months I have trained to become certified in Mental Health First Aid in order to work as a volunteer for the New River Valley Community Services Raft Crisis Hotline, located in my college town.

It has been through my time throughout this experience so far that I have been fortunate enough to learn first-hand how one can impact another’s sense of well-being and assurance, while at the same time being a complete stranger. It is through the conversations I have had thus far that have shown me how truly vital a listening ear, a caring heart, and providing a sense of support for another can be to someone in need of just that.

So that the struggling person knows that not only is someone here for them, but here with them. Simply showing unrelenting compassion can dramatically influence the mindset of someone who is drowning mentally, whether you realize it or not.

For those who are contemplating what steps they will take to end their lives or experiencing suicidal ideas, it is as if they suffer from an irrefutable perspective of themselves that they no longer recognize. A perspective built upon the foundation that their life has little value, and is no longer worth fighting for. Although the hardships brought about by having a mental illness hold power in creating such a perspective, some individuals may have never reached the point of attempt and/or completion had they been shown and made aware of the fact that they are being heard, cared about, and accompanied from the beginning.

I strongly believe that suicide is an individual’s decision that ultimately only that person has sole power over, and in some cases, cannot be prevented in regard to what loved ones or those close to the person ‘could have done.’

However, perhaps if we as a society made it more instinctual to act in ways that are more compassionate, more kind, more supportive, more aware, then those we love would have more foreseeable opportunities to find the hope needed in order to take the appropriate steps toward recovery. To be reminded that our lives are valued, cared for, and paid attention to may have the ability to lead one to a sense of worthiness in valuing and caring for oneself that they otherwise would have never found on their own.

Perhaps the strength needed in those struggling to learn to love who they are and to fight for the value of their life can be (even just a little bit) sprouted by simply the way in which we pay attention to and show compassion for them.

Much of what we see on social media is the tip of the iceberg. We aren’t aware of what goes on underneath the water that manifests into the beautiful structure displayed in the open air that is Instagram, Facebook, etc. My social media pages are no different.

I love the life that I have created, and I am truly happy with myself and my circumstances… I hope this shows in my posts. However, success and happiness aren’t always the easiest things to come by. They take endless hours of consistent hard-work and an unwavering dedication.

The older in age I become, the more I realize the importance of squeezing out every last drop of daylight and making the absolute most of every day. Consequently, I wake up at 3:40 am 7 days a week and don’t call it quits until 10 pm or so. There is simply too much that I want to accomplish in this life to spend my days sleeping, hung over, or unhappy.

Because of my early mornings and hectic schedule, I have been forced to fall in love with myself and my alone time. Meditation and yoga are a big part of that and they are truly the anchoring forces that create structure and balance in my everyday life. I meditate 30 minutes every morning after my work out and I try to attend a Yoga class 2-3 times a week in between my kickboxing/running/weight training routines. I have created a lifestyle completely revolving around mental and physical health, but it took years of consistent action and DAILY practice.

Another area of my life that requires constant attention is my volunteer work.

I was born to serve others and discovered my passion for serving those less fortunate than me during my time at Habitat for Humanity. Through my work with Habitat, I was able to realize the unerring truth that your circumstances do not determine your attitude. YOU determine your attitude, how you approach life, and how you respond to setbacks.

The families that I had the pleasure of working with did not have the luxuries that most Americans are afforded, but they were still some of the happiest people I’d ever met.

I have served as a budget coach and as a homeowner selection committee member at Habitat collectively for over four years now, and through these experiences I have met some of the most amazingly influential people in my life. My social media doesn’t display my work with Habitat, but this is where the majority of my passion lies.

Thankfully, Habitat led me to another organization with which I have been involved for three years now.

I serve as a Big Brother as a part of the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. My “Little” is a 13 year-old named Savyon. Savyon has one of those smiles that lights up a room and despite the amount of responsibility on his shoulders, he constantly offers up that smile to the world. On top of his schoolwork, basketball practice, and social life, Savyon helps take care of his siblings… and he does it all in such a caring way that it makes me certain that love is in the hearts of the generations to come. This is a great feeling.

Although my social media displays pictures of photo shoots, concerts, and outings with friends, this is only #halfofthestory. My true passion comes alive when I am serving others and it requires a lot of work and time behind the scenes. In the end, it is all worth it because when you find what sets your soul on fire, it is your responsibility to pursue your passion like your life depends on it… because it does.

Expression is an expulsion of the self, sense of being, and a freedom to live, so here I am ready to express myself.

I am a human, and I am flawed. There is both light that is elicited from my bright and eager smiles, exposed from the volume of a careless laugh and exemplified in the tender expressions of love that radiate among my friends and I, but there is also a darkness. There is a darkness that gnaws at the crevices of my core, excited to discover any routes of escape. A darkness that overflows as it seeps through engagements of sadness and disparity. This darkness releases itself in waves of sadness or episodes of lavish rage. Remember I am a human and I am flawed.

I am my own destruction as I am my own foundation.

I am an entity of love just as I am constructed out of the most paramount forms of rage and despair. I am pure, but I am also as tainted as they come. I am loved, fetishized, desired, and revered just as I am hated, berated, slandered and ostracized.

To describe myself would simply be to state that I am a balance of right and wrong, of love and hate, of humanity and wilder.

There may be days that I want to cry a sorrow so deep and so wide that bewilders my spirit by its very thought, but there are days that my core rises afloat, illuminating my body and crawling through the creases of my mouth exposing a laugh or exposed grin.

I would like to express my entirety to all of you, its thick, tarnished poisons, its luminous explicit bliss, and its testifying fury. I would like to express my hatred of the demonizing enemy to my expression and to my very being, to indifference.

Indifference is the murderer, indifference is the culprit, and indifference is the one whom is praised, empowered and favored.

But what about love, what about a purity seemingly so far fetched as it is craved by any and every single being. It is the magnificence of love and its mystical lucidity that should be boasted about as opposed to the frigid and vile behavior of indifference.

I scowl at the ridicule inhabiting my mind as I ponder upon the indifference of a past lover, who dimmed my light as his shadow grew with every pittance of my unrequited love. Darkness so wild and strong submerged me in episodes of sadness and grief. How intense a feeling to bestow upon myself, a mind so dimmed and dampened, but so juvenile in thought and dare I say, existence.

“I do not care” is the birthplace of a monster, the castration of the feeling of warmth and tenderness that is love. How foolish it is to minimize your feelings, your emotions, and foundations just to emit a veil of dark energy throughout a world already filled with turmoil and evil, but then again you are ‘indifferent’, and you lack the ability to feel or to express.

Express yourself, express your love, and express your light.

To the friends that have entwined me in golden raptures of sweet bliss, I love you. To past friends, whom ponder on my image in pitch darkness, I wish you the best and I hope to have bestowed you with pride and the ability of growth and expression.

To a faint past lover, thank you for teaching me under your shadowed wings, thank you for teaching me that I must love myself first, and thank you for shrouding me in gloomy darkness in order for me recollect pieces of myself and place them together to build a stronger core and a greater capacity to love, to feel.

To all of you, you have the power to piece me together, to shape my memory and mind by the memories we have created together. Thank you to all and thank you for expression.