In my twenty years of existence, I have never experienced what Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, refers to as level five leadership. Many people like to say they have great leadership qualities, but Collins exposes the truth that most people do not know what it means to be effective in leading a group.

I have been a part of many organizations that attempt to teach younger people how to lead others such as the Boy Scouts of America, my fraternity, student counsel and various athletic teams, but all of these groups only teach one how to be a competent manager.

This idea of leadership has always been a vague character trait that society says is important to have, yet has been taught to me as a quality that resembles authority and discipline rather than togetherness and humility.

Going into my junior year of high school, I experienced a flawed system of leadership when I joined the football team. Regimented and brutal practices were supposed to be the binding factors of our team which would bring us together to defeat our rival, and former state champion school, which we would play for our first game of the season that year.

However, there was a clear separation within our team of those who were varsity level and those who were not. In a sense this created two different teams on the practice field, but we were all supposed to be one unified group.

Our leadership, the coaches, gave special attention to the more qualified athletes leaving most of us wondering why we were on the team in the first place. Collins refers to this type of leadership as level three as my coaches only managed us, told us what to do, but never had any real influence over our desire to improve to varsity standards. Similarly, those who were on the varsity team followed this mindset and only focused on their ability in order to win against our rival.

This type of culture lead to what Marc Andreessen calls “The Law of Crappy People”, where the abilities of an organization converge to the quality of work of its least capable person. Due to the fact that myself and many others felt we did not have anything to contribute to the team and did not feel unified, we slacked off. Many of us did not have the motivation or desire to get to the varsity level because we were always pushed to the side, told to lift more weights, run more by our managers, coaches.

This did not go unnoticed and for those on the verge of starting on Friday nights, mediocrity was a simple solution after a long day at school and they too were standing with us on the sideline. Our coaches could have gone to the next level of leader ship, level four, and been influential in creating a desire to be better every day and wanting to be at practice by incorporating us, but in their eyes we were not all star players. Nonetheless, at the end of each long practice we were told we are going to beat our rivals come the first game and that we would win every game that season.

After reading the ideas put forth by Collins, this is the worst thing they could have told us.

Having our leadership tell us after every training session that we were going undefeated that season goes directly against what Collins refers to as “Confronting the Brutal Facts”. This concept, also known as the “Stockdale Paradox”, revolves around the idea that one cannot be too optimistic when facing large tasks and that one must be realistic in analyzing the abilities of oneself or a group.

Our team was not better than our former state champion rivals, yet every day we were told we would beat them. So much confidence was cultivated even though we knew we were a smaller team, our defense had poor secondary coverage, and our star running back was always in the trainer’s office for a bad knee. When it came time to play our rivals we were up by a touchdown at the half and our team was ecstatic. However, with a limited varsity lineup and our running back getting injured in the third quarter, we lost by three touchdowns. That season we only won four of our twelve games with no chance of making it to the playoffs.

I joined the football team because I heard of the hard work and discipline I would be taught, as well as the leadership qualities that I could refine. I found myself in an awkward grey area because I had not played since I was younger and therefore was not the best of the best.

The leadership I encountered was there to manage my actions, not to teach and grow a strong culture of like-minded young men.

A level five leader has the ability to combine their own goals with humility to strengthen a group of people, take blame for mistakes and further the overall quality of a structured culture. In my current leadership positions, I try to avoid the idea that I am great and focus more on the belief that we, the people in my organization, are great.

Too often leadership is placed on a resume without a second thought as many people do not want to believe that they are poor leaders, though this mistake is a destructive one because they are not facing the brutal fact that leadership is not a trait one attains and has forever, it is worked on and refined every day.

Leadership. This is a buzzword we hear time and again each day. Leaders are what so many of us aspire to be, and especially in college, there is a huge push for students to gain these so-called leadership skills. However, I think we have a nationwide problem in this push for leadership.

Yes, almost all of us hope to be a leader in some regard, whether that be through aspirations of President of the United States or president of your Homeowner’s Association. Granted, many of these so-called leadership skills are influential in life, such as the ability to convey information, delegate tasks, and present yourself well. Yet at the same time, the world simply cannot be a world full of leaders, and there is almost a fundamental problem with everyone wanting to take charge because simply put, leaders need followers.

That doesn’t mean by any standards that you are less important or beneath those who are in leadership positions by being a “follower,” but rather a fundamental component of what makes up the organization you are a part of. I just feel we are all being melded into this picturesque “perfect” individual who not only looks the part, but has excellent social and leadership skills.

Yet that isn’t realistic, and not only is it not realistic, but it is not what we should all be striving for.

It is the quite researchers who are introspective and make brilliant discoveries, the authors who sit behind a computer screen and provide the world with new ideas, the engineers that build and design and create, who all compose and contribute greatly to our society all without having to be your “leader.”

What I am trying to say is that I think we need to take some of that pressure off in the way we are continually pushing leadership in college and society and even the workplace, because sometimes it is the quiet and introspective individuals, the ones who may follow, or simply the ones who keep to themselves, who make an even greater difference in society – and they are happy while doing it.

Leadership is necessary in many instances, and we definitely do need great leaders in society, that is without a doubt, but just because that isn’t the mold you fit into doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with the path that you are taking in life.

It is said that a person who does the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is insane. So what do you call a person that follows the lead of others into a path lined without any meaningful results?

Seth Godin has a name for these people, sheepwalkers. They say sheep will follow each other one by one over the edge of a cliff to their death because they were simply following the lead of the one in front of them.

Godin describes sheepwalkers as people who blindly obey and follow the lead of others into brain-dead tasks, even ones that are clearly wrong, inefficient, broken, etc. These sheepwalkers blindly obey because other people are doing it too, or because they are driven by the fear of any repercussions for not following in line.

Most people, if not all, have been a sheepwalker at one time or another.

While it doesn’t necessarily have to be sheepwalking in the sense of brain-dead jobs, it can be in a variety of actions. The child who obeys their parents’ wish for them to choose a certain college, major, or career path is a sheepwalker.

This isn’t to say they are necessarily wrong in doing so. For all they know, their parents have the better judgment and “know what’s best for their kid.” So we follow what they say and life goes on toward what should be a bright and successful future.

Now sheepwalking does not always have to be following the orders of a superior (parent, boss, or any other), it can also come from a peer or friend, someone on the same level as you. The sheep follow one another to their death because hey, all the cool sheep are doing it, they must be right.

Now we start to see the darker side of this phenomenon. Sheepwalking isn’t always so innocent.

One of the darkest and strongest forms of sheepwalking that I think everyone can relate to is peer pressure. My sheepwalking story is of one of my best friends. A freshman in high school, just shy of 16 years old. A kid that started playing hockey at the same time I did.

We started in the same hockey 101 class and went on to play hockey together for several years, traveling the state of Florida together, pursuing our dream of college hockey. He was a great kid with a great personality and had a very bright future ahead of him in school, hockey, and life as a whole.

Then one evening he became a sheepwalker.

He was hanging out with some of friends, kids I do not know, at one of their houses. His friends started popping pills and, as the sheepwalking goes, he followed their lead. To my knowledge, this was the first time he had done this, and according to the accounts of his “friends,” it was. This would also be his last time, as he overdosed.

I will never forget laying in bed and getting the phone call. In a flash, I was at the funeral, acting as pallbearer, carrying one of my closest friends.

Now here I am, living out our dream of college hockey, wondering where he would be were it not for that one slip of sheepwalking, following the lead of those undeserving of leading.

I’m laying down in bed right now. I can’t see a light besides what is being displayed on my phone screen. It’s the darkness that has steadily reaped havoc inside me the past 3-4 months. This darkness can be crippling. It’s darkness that is there until you turn the light on, but sometimes the light seems so far away. And when you do turn it on, it only stays for brief moments.

For over the past year and a half, I have pursued Wish Dish head on. Head down, foot on the gas, with small moments of pause and reset along the way. The burnouts have been bad, over-exacerbated at times. They hit you when you least expect them. Jabs, hooks, and knockout punches coming from nowhere. People who once believed in you walking away not paying attention to you anymore. People you look up to telling you the fight may be over.

You step in the ring to begin with because you have something to fight for. If you step in the ring to look tough and be cool, then it’s all for the wrong reasons. It’s not a battle worth to endure without a noble cause to follow. There’s no way I could push each day if I didn’t know Why I started.

I stepped in the ring because I had a problem.

I hit a low point, and I needed a place to share. I needed a place to connect and find a tribe of my own. My problem became a dream, not just for myself, but a dream that could help others around me.

So I created a solution (Wish Dish) that has allowed me to do just that, but I’ve also created a solution that has thrown me in the middle of sea trying to figure out the next best place to swim. Usually, there’s always that person that puts on the tubies before I “drown” and provides reassurance I’m on the right path.

But the past 3 or 4 months, the anchor has been pulling hard on the feet. There has been no reassurance. There hasn’t been that person.

When I say I’ve failed, I’ve failed a lot. When I first started, when the gas was on Full, and I was running at Ferrari speeds of excitement, I could do anything. It was all about the people we were serving. From showing up to Georgia State meeting 300 random students in 4 days, to flying to Mailbu to speak to Pepperdine students, to showing up to UCLA for a day talking to 50 strangers, to building ambassador programs at 5 different colleges in Georgia, we were doing it all.  Anything we wanted at lightning speed.

I learned early on that wasn’t the most efficient way to scale content, so I stumbled upon a woman who had this amazing idea to look at our data. From there, I saw mental health, sports, culture, and faith were our top 4 topics. From there, I developed relationships within those areas and grew our content with the help of many people fighting for the same cause. Within the span of 3 months, we launched a new site (the one we have today), published more than 175 stories, and had an event with almost 200+ people. An event where people flew in from Philadelphia, Tennessee, Virginia, and New York.

The tide was high, we were riding the wave. But all waves come to a crash and this wave seemed to take me through the undercurrent.

I just haven’t fully realized it until now.

In May, I lost an incredible team member Sam Dickinson to a full time job in Indiana. Sam was a backbone to the early foundation. He helped build our content strategy, power points, review our proposals. He was the most reliable person who understood everything we were doing.

When Sam left, I knew it was time to find a cofounder, so I heavily recruited a friend from Philadelphia who has the I can do anything attitude. I thought he’d be perfect for the team. And I still hope he can one day join. After not being able to come to terms, it was another blow to the chest. It seemed early on, anyone and everyone was helping push this vision forward. I never had rejection up to this point from someone I had worked so hard to try and recruit.

Speaking about building the team, for the last 6 months, I’ve pushed relentlessly to find a technical founder who can make product changes and improve the website. In April I had conducted 25 user interviews and learn how important it was to build a product that keeps visitors and contributors coming back to the site. So I began the search for a long-term technical solution. Being extremely short on capital and in an industry where tech developers are swept up by the tech giants of the world for $75K/year — I’ve struggled immensely to find the consistent talent I need. I’ve probably put in 100+ hours of work trying to find the right person interviewing one tech person after another and having introductions made. Heck, I even have a spreadsheet of 80 different names I’ve talked too.

Along with trying to put a team in place, we’ve been working to implement revenue models. I’ve struggled to put In monetary solutions with the rawness of the platform. How do we make money but not ruin an authentic brand. We have begun the foundation for a book called “Showing Up Naked” but that is a process in itself. Sponsors have been tough to come by and there are moments in time when the next best step forward is murky.

At 23, I’ve learned so much. I’ve given everything possible to this platform to make it succeed on extremely little capital.  The gas tank right now is near empty, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth a refuel. And if it is, I’m trying to figure out where the gas would be.

In the past year we have helped so many people get jobs from their stories shared, we’ve connected people with suicide stories to one another, and we’ve built meaningful connection for so many people.

It’s been everything I could imagine and more.

As the founder behind it, it’s hard to sometimes see through the fuzziness of the clouds. Day in and day out, I question, am I on the right path? I feel trapped in the college town I went to school in, sharing a room with a friend, driving a beat up 2004 car. It all seems rough from the outside, and on the inside I’m the one who can actually feel it.

As I reflect, we still have accomplished so much. I realize we wouldn’t be here without an amazing team of advisors, group of friends who have supported, and amazing teammates along the way.

So the question is, are we going to continue?

I watched the Olympics this weekend. I saw people who had trained a lifetime of to make their dreams come true. One of the divers who fell short said, “I’ll be back in Toyko.” He didn’t have to think twice about putting in another 4 years of training. The sheer resilience, determination, and effort was inspiring to see.

I recently read a book on Phil Knight, Nike’s Founder called Shoe Dog. Nike wasn’t even called Nike until year 8 of business. There were a million and one reasons why Nike should have failed in their first 25 years of business, but they found a way through.  Nike’s brand speaks for itself, because they have a founder who embodies every characteristic of what they represent.

For us, putting in a year and a half and letting it go because everything isn’t working how I thought by this time would simply be giving up. And I’m simply not ready to let that happen. Onward we go.

Bryan Wish

As we continue to work through connecting people in meaningful ways, we have taken our first step in forming community groups.

Communities to join: Please click and ask to be added as a member. We are looking for Community Managers as well.

Sports (for current Student-Athletes & Former Student-Athletes) to connect through sharing personal stories & professional opportunities

International (to connect people across the world through the sharing of stories)

Health (to connect people dealing with mental health, cancer, and other physical, mental, emotional troubles)

A few more to come in the near future …

This past December, young leaders came together in the legendary land of possibility, New York City. AIESEC’s Youth Action Summit summoned the youth world and the business world to the United Nations Headquarters for a three day summit which aims to discuss and create an agenda which will define youth implementation of the UN Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

As the first day of the summit came to a close, we wanted to highlight four signs that we noticed which indicate that young people are absolutely ready and able to change our world.

Young people are the present, and the future. Here’s why.

1. THERE’S POWER IN OUR NUMBERS

80 million people classify as what we define as “millennial” (born between 1985-1993). This is the largest generation of any in the world. 50% of the world’s population in 2015 is under the age of 30. Statistically speaking, we make up a disproportionately large portion of the global ecosystem. Young people want their opinions and insights to count for something, and we’ve got the numbers to back us up.

2. WE ARE CONSISTENTLY DEMONSTRATING OUR INFLUENCE

Youth movements are not uncommon. Across the world, young people have shown that they have the ability to make serious changes by using their voices. With the rise of young leaders such as Malala Yousafzai in Pakistan and Joshua Wong in Hong Kong, we have proven that we have the power to make a political difference. Additionally, young people are incredibly active in the digital world, with the rise of YouTube, Instagram, and Vine stars creating a new category of youth leadership: influencer. The digital ecosystem has changed the way youth leaders rise and communicate, leading me to the next point.

3. WE ARE DIGITAL NATIVES

In our increasingly digital age, young people have not only a technological advantage, but a technological lifestyle. We are digital natives – meaning that we have been raised in a world of tweets, Facebook posts, computers, and iPods. Unlike those before us, who are the new “digital immigrants,” tech is unparalleled in our hands, because we are able to easily adapt to and learn new systems. As I mentioned, the power of social platforms is showcased daily by young people. Whether a crowdfunding page for someone’s volunteer project, a tweet which is retweeted by millions, an online petition signed by thousands which leads to political change, or a YouTube video viewed by over 20 million people, young people now have the ability to communicate in mass, globally. And we do.

4. CHANGE AND INNOVATION ARE IN OUR NATURE

As young people, we are often faced with tremendous emotional and social pressure. Whether we are coming of age in a diverse university or college or growing up without the opportunity of higher education, we become incredibly in touch with humanity. We are at the peak of uncomfortable adjustment, and it gives us an incredibly unique perspective. We are not afraid of change. We live change daily. Nothing is certain for us, and that allows us to imagine and ideate things which people who have been settled in routine for years cannot see. We are known for a desire to switch jobs frequently, and for a need to feel that our values connect to our work. For this reason, we are passionate and innovative in a way that no other generation can match.

Do you believe that youth leaders are going to be the ones who shape the world? We do.

There are two important topics I have learned in Organizational Behavior of Sport Management that are very similar to experiences have had in my life. These two topics are the subject of Tribes from Seth Godin’s novel “Tribes” and Level 5 Leadership from Jim Collins’ novel “Good to Great”.

The definition of a tribe is “any group of people, large or small, who are connected to one another, a leader, and an idea.” Based on this definition, tribes exist in many different forms; whether they are businesses, sports teams, non-profit organizations, charity organizations, etc. However, tribes cannot be what they are without following the attributes of leadership, teamwork and generosity. Godin says that “Leaders who set out to give are more productive than leaders who seek to get.” In my senior year in high school, I have experienced tribes as well as leadership that perfectly demonstrates the attributes of tribes.

The tribes I was involved in were sports teams such as the Varsity Men’s Soccer Team as well as student tribes such as the Jackson National Honor Society. In my experience on the soccer team, our goal was to not only win games and the State and Shore Conference finals but to have a good time together and to help the freshman and junior varsity players become leaders. In my experience in the National Honor Society, our goal was to promote academic excellence, service to the community, and leadership for the real world.

These tribes are different regarding ideology and activities they do, but one thing they have in common is that they demonstrate the same attributes that make up an excellent tribe. 

Without these attributes, there would be no leadership or teamwork in the tribe and eventually the tribe would cease to exist. Not only did I have experiences of tribes throughout my life, I have also had experience with Level 5 Leadership. Level 5 Leadership is defined as Level 5 executives who build enduring greatness through a paradoxical blend of personal humility and professional will. Through the experience I had with the Varsity Soccer Team and the National Honor Society, I had seen a bit of Level 5 Leadership. The soccer team’s captain had an agenda to lead the team to the State and Shore Conference Finals and win. Unfortunately, we did not win, but the captain did express personal humility which was a big and bold move for a captain.

That kind of leadership is what actually lead the team to the finals in the first place.

If only Rutgers Football and Men’s basketball had that kind of leadership and teamwork they would’ve been an excellent team that is very worth watching on television and spectating at the stadium and the court. Regarding the National Honor Society, the president followed the organization’s agenda to promote academic excellence and create great leaders which was the professional will of a Level 5 leader. There were some instances where followers didn’t follow their roles and broke a few of the organization’s rules, but the president took it upon himself to stop the disorder and take full responsibility for the organization’s mistakes.

The attributes of personal humility and professional will are considered a paradoxical blend because it is impossible to mix them into one single attribute. However, through my experience with both tribes, I was able to see the Level 5 Leadership in the team captain and the president of the National Honor Society. Both leaders didn’t let their ego get in the way of ambition for team and the organization and concern for their success. They also took responsibility for any mistakes or disorder that may have happened in the team and the organization.

This is why in today’s world we all need tribes and leadership like the tribes and leadership I have experienced. If we do not have them, then there would be nothing left to do in our lives and humanity would no longer function as a whole.

When being a part of a population, humans find different ways to separate themselves from the norm of that population. And with doing that, some are chosen to lead and some are chose to be lead.

The author Seth Godin in his book Tribes was mainly speaking about how the individuals that are the leaders go through certain processes and experiences that come with being the head of the pack.

In my experiences of having the role of being a leader, every main topic that was brought up in this book played some type of part. Right now, I am currently a Building Manager at the Werblin Recreation Center on Busch Campus. I have been there for three years now and in the management role for two. With being in this role, not only do I have to monitor the facility at all times but I also have to be a great leader and communicate with my staff so work sometimes doesn’t feel like work.

It started by stating the fact that what you have in front of you is an opportunity that not everyone has in life.

It is then the individual’s choice as to if they want to accept this opportunity or simply let it pass you by. Once that is established, the next question the leader is to ask their self is why me and why at this moment in time.

He states that some assume people are “born leaders” and those people are the individuals that should have management positions but then informs the readers how that may not be the case and I agree with him. A person could have great leadership skills but be horrible at organizing things and managing his time. With that, comes bad management.

Back when I was a server at Mccormick and Smicks in Bridgewater, my boss knew the perfect things to say to excite the servers so we would go out and work hard but at the same time he would consistently mess up my work schedule. I began to notice that I wasn’t the only one who he was doing this to either.

At least five other servers complained about their work schedule not being updated. It then became a problem when servers wouldn’t show up to shifts because he would wait until the day of to update the schedule. The manager would then call the server screaming at them for not showing up for their shift. Once that started happening, people began quitting left and right due to his lack of caring to stay on top of updating the system. He was able to make it seem like everything was under control when it was time to open for dinner, but the author was right about stability is simply a illusion.

Another topic I could relate to was when the author began speaking about how faith and religion work with leadership. With dealing with people, religion is a sensitive subject and a great leader knows that and always takes that into consideration. Leaders are also able to understand who around them lead like themselves or are they’re simply sheepwalkers. I never heard this term before but now that I know what it means, now I take time to look at my fellow coworkers at the recreation center to see who I am surrounded by. I feel that a lot of people in our society are sheepwalkers and don’t really have any interest in leading ever but will claim that that’s what they want to do because that is what everyone else is doing.

In conclusion, I really enjoyed reading this book for class and I have taken a lot from this. I view myself as a tight leader looking to find better ways to lead others and this book was filled with relatable topics that will help me in the future. Having the knowledge on how to lead people is one thing, and now it is up to me and the rest of the people who have read this book to apply it.