New Year’s resolutions have always baffled me. You always hear the same things—exercise more, eat better, learn something new, travel more, and stress less. While we all want better health, to be in the know, and to experience the world, creating these broad and generic resolutions often lead to lack of follow through. That’s the running joke, isn’t it? When the “new year, new you” only lasts for a week or so. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
All of our resolutions are made with good intentions and goals in mind, but what they lack is personalization and tangible action steps to make them happen. I’ve realized this year after year as I fail to achieve what I set out for, yet I have never tried to change that. Until now.
I’ve never truly made an effort to create resolutions that I stick to for more than a week or so, but this year felt different. I recently read an incredible book, “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, and it rocked my world. It transformed the way I looked at goal setting and goal achieving. The premise of the book is that anyone can find happiness with the cards they’re played.
Rubin set out 12 resolutions for herself, one for each month, with tangible and specific ways to make every single resolution a reality. As I flipped page by page through the book, I realized how Rubin had created an approachable way to accomplishing those daunting resolutions. For example, instead of just “cultivating friendships”, it became remembering birthdays, no gossiping, cutting people slack, and bringing people together. What she did was break down her big hairy audacious goal, which seemed intimidating, into doable tasks and actions that she could focus on every day. As simple as this may seem, it opened my eyes.
So then the new year rolled around, sneaked up on me as it always does, and I knew I wanted to actually make something out of my resolutions. I looked to see what I needed to do to be more fulfilled, happy, and confident in 2017. As I developed my list, I realized that each one had a story behind it and that’s what made them more meaningful and more approachable, than say the typical “Eat healthier” resolution. I felt a deeper connection to my new resolutions and felt a drive to achieve them that I’d never felt before. It was the stories and the people that inspired them and brought them to life. It is those same stories and people that will serve as reminders throughout 2017 why I am doing what I am doing.
For the first time in my life, I am going to take my resolutions seriously and not just brush it off my shoulder if I don’t follow through. I’m hoping that this year will serve as a foundation for me in the future to help to learn how to create a goal and actually make it happen.
So bring it on 2017, I’m ready.
Curled up in my bed after a long day at work, I’m scrolling through my usual online news outlets and what’s the latest buzz? Adele and her 2016 North American tour. The last time Adele sang in the United States was in 2011 and she only played in small venues. Now she has concerts in 14 states and Canada and all were sold out in minutes. The woman is an idol, a success story and everyone’s go-to car jam. She’s helped us all through the breakups and the rainy days, and for that we must thank her.
Adele Adkins was born on a normal day like anyone else, so what makes her an international sensation that makes people stop in their tracks in the aisles of Target just to sing the first three lines of ‘Hello’?
Adele has forever changed music. She will go down on the same pages as Etta James and Barbra Streisand. She is this generation’s musical goddess – with good reason. Adele’s perfect combination of raspy and milky-smooth notes can bring even a Cross Fit heavy lifter to their knees, but what makes Adele successful? To me, is how relatable and open she is.
1. You can’t please everyone. Make the decision that makes you happy and stop concerning yourself about what that other person is saying about you. Bye Felicia.
2. Stop wasting your time on people who don’t really care about being your life. Life is way too short. Spend your precious time with people that love you and support you. Bye Felicia.
3. Friends are the family you choose. Choose them wisely because the company you keep defines many things in your life. Bye Felicia.
4. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Stop looking at yourself and seeing flaws. They are not flaws but just one part of the masterpiece that makes up who are you. Hello Beyoncé.
5. Every person has a season in your life. Don’t keep poisons in your life. Just like a tree, let the pruning happen in your life if you need to. You will be more beautiful after. Hello Beyoncé.
6. YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEYONCE. Be fabulous and stop letting other people define what is fabulous. Hello Beyoncé.
We go into each year thinking we are going to be more like Beyoncé and Adele – I’m going to exercise more, eat better, read more and spend more time with family, but at some point we all seem to fall off the wagon, and our once-fresh new year aspirations are now jokes in Instagram captions as we post the latest batch of beautiful donuts.
It’s by being honest with ourselves. We need to be our true, authentic selves each and every day, not just to ourselves but also to the world. Man, does that sound terrifying.
Why would I want people to know that I’m having a bad week at work? Or that I miss my loved ones during the holidays? To me, that feels incredibly personal and why would anyone want to know these things about me? It’s because we all go through it, and we shouldn’t go through it alone.
Adele is loved because she is like anyone else, well despite her fame, fortune and beautiful voice. Adele is true to her authentic self through her music. She’s depressed? She writes a heart-wrenching song that we can all relate to. She’s mad? She writes a song that tears apart every piece of that angry memory. We love Adele because a piece of us can be found in every one of her songs.
If we can translate Adele’s ability to be relatable to our every day life, imagine how many people we could connect with? In today’s world there is a sense of need to show people that you’ve “made it,” and believe me, I’m a total victim of this feeling.
They may not think I’m mature or responsible or cool, but the truth of the matter is four years ago, I thought when I turned 22 I would have everything together, and that I would be an “adult.” I was totally wrong. I still want to take naps at 2 p.m., I lose socks like it’s my job, I can never remember to drop off my dry cleaning, and I still call my parents all the time asking them things like what’s wrong with my toilet or how do I cook bacon without setting the smoke detector off?
So who else burns their bacon? Who else still calls home to ask for advice? Who still uses dry shampoo and a hair tie on the mornings where you’re running late to work because 20 minutes of sleep sounded so worth it at the time? This is all me. The full me. The good, the bad and the ugly.
We’re in this together people. Let’s live authentically together. We may not be able to sing our lives like Adele, but we can tell people the truth and bond and grow over the same hopes, dreams and dilemmas.
Be you because, who knows, one day your life could be made into a multi-million dollar album and you wouldn’t want to miss out on that chance.