When I had just turned 16 years old, I had a stunning realization. For the first time, I knew my life purpose. After giving a self-confidence empowerment workshop to a group of 8th grade girls, it felt as though God had spoken to me and let me know that I was here to continue the work I was doing on media, body image, mental health, relationships, and more.

At the time, I had no idea what the actual path of my newfound life purpose looked like, but I knew that I had one and that it involved utilizing my passions, public speaking and organizational abilities, and more.

Four years later, it has resulted in co-founding an organization called MOVE, dedicated to empowering young women through workshops and week long summer programs. It has resulted in me publishing a book, giving speeches at several conferences, developing important connections with girls, and much much more.

For the past few years, I have been wholeheartedly and entirely fulfilled. It is to such an extent that my heart was constantly aching with emotion and the understanding that what I was doing was critically important.

The number of times that I have teared up with gratitude and contentedness that I found my belonging is too many to count.

It truly is an indescribably unbelievable feeling to know you are doing the work you are intended to do.

And then, somewhere around the start of this new school year, I started grew restless. For several months, I refused to fully confront it and instead commented on how unfulfilled I felt, without actually doing anything about it.

I hoped that my restlessness would go away, and told myself that when I gave workshops over my college break in January that I would feel better.

Yet, I didn’t feel better. In fact, it forced me to confront the sad but inevitable fact that I am growing and changing, and so was my purpose.

I am in the process of finding fulfillment again. Here’s what I know to be true, and perhaps some ideas on how you too can discover your purpose as I re-discover mine:

Give whatever you can a shot (even if it’s scary)

Growing up, my parents encouraged me to try everything I could. I learned that I hated sports, was not good at playing instruments, that dancing was not for me, singing was okay, and finally that I LOVED doing theater.

I was originally intimidated to try out theater and audition for the school play—so scared that I didn’t audition whatsoever in 6th grade—but conquered that fear a year later to learn that I really found comfort in creating something beautiful with friends.

Trying different things gave me an opportunity to figure out what I liked, and allowed me to develop my strengths in areas that I cared about. Taking the time to learn about and understand myself really benefitted me later on, as my public speaking and teamwork skills are critical to the work I do for MOVE.

So, try everything you possibly can. Especially if you’re a little intimidated to do it. I’ve found that a little fear (within a safe range) allows the most growth to happen.

Run with your ideas.

If you have an idea, take it and run with it. My friends and I decided at age 15 that we wanted to give a workshop, and so we ran with that idea and made it happen.

When I gave the first workshop, I didn’t realize what would follow. I actually thought that I would give one, it would be cool, but that would be that.

Your ideas are worth a shot. They really are. And I encourage you to go for it. I know that social pressure and a desire to fit in make trying out ideas scary, but sometimes you need to put yourself and your ideas before your ego.

Immerse yourself in learning what you care about.

More than that, devote yourself to doing what you care about. Currently, I don’t know what my next purpose is. But, I do know that the way I discovered my original purpose.

I had the idea to write a book, and made it happen, because I took the time to learn first about the issues I cared about. I’m dead serious. Learning led me to understanding, which gave me ideas, and led me to creating my own ideas.

So, I’m spending my time learning about what does currently interest me: Political Science. I am so interested, that I changed my double major from Communication to PoliSci.

I’ve also made it a New Years Resolution to read 25 books on political issues this year. Two done. 23 to go. Speaking of which, the learning that I’ve done already has actually given me the idea for my third book!

Learning about what you care about works. It gives you ideas because you’re able to see what’s missing and you can fill in what’s needed with your own work.

Combine what you’re passionate about, with what you care about, with what you’re good at.

At workshops, I always ask girls to consider the three things above. Previously, and to an extent still, I am passionate about ideas, bringing people together, and more.

I care about body image, media, self-esteem, mental health and more. And I am good at organizing, leading, and public speaking. So, I combined the three to create MOVE.

Today, my strengths and passions are still the same, but what I care about is shifting and I’m starting to consider how I can use what God gave me in another way. All I’m saying is that the more I learn and think about how I can do my part, that honestly running for office has crossed my mind more than a few times.

What are you passionate about? What do you care about? And what are you good at? What is your life purpose?

Now, how can you combine these? If you love it more than your ego, you’ve found it.

And finally, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her home as, “returning to the work of writing because writing was my home, because I loved writing more than I hated failing at writing, which is to say that I loved writing more than I loved my own ego,which is ultimately to say that I loved writing more than I loved myself.”

In other words, Elizabeth Gilbert loved writing more than she hated failing or her own ego.

For so long, I loved MOVE more than my ego. The things people would say to me or behind my back did not matter to me, and I would brush it off easily. Who cares what you think—I’m doing God’s work and nothing can stop me! And in many ways, MOVE is still my home. But I’m moving—or MOVEing—on.

Either way, think about what you love more than your ego. And that’s when you know you’ve found your purpose. To reach out to me, check out www.ashleyolafsen.com

Wake up. Roll over to turn off the alarm only after hitting snooze for the fifth time. Check Instagram. Scroll through and live vicariously through fashionistas in California. Check Snapchat. Oh, a rogue camel in a desert from username الشباب وجديدة ? Good. Check Email. “150 Ways You Could Be Kidnapped Via Facebook” article. Thanks, Mom.

By then, you realize you have approximately twelve minutes to get ready. You spring out of bed, brush your teeth, throw on some clothes, tame your hair, forget deodorant, and grab a granola bar as you run out the door.

Who can relate to mornings like this?

Don’t be afraid to raise your hand. My first couple years of college were shamefully filled to the brim with similar baskets of shambles. I did not realize the extent to which this mindless procrastination was hurting me.

Scientifically speaking, it is a facet of our survival instincts to stay in bed and avoid “adulting.” Referred to as a “negativity bias,” many of us subconsciously suffer from an irrational fear of immediate failure following the decision to rise and face the world. It is caused by an unrealistic, out-of-focus perception nourished by humanity’s worst enemy: fear. It is not quite as simple as procrastination or laziness. No wonder mornings get a bad rep.

John Milton writes in Paradise Lost, “The Mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” Imagine that our lives are Pandora stations. When we begin our day chaotically, we are choosing the Skrillex station. Yikes. The rest of our day is consequently filled with related, stressful music. When we begin our day brightly and confidently, it is filled with music that feeds our spirit and exercises positive psychology.

I learned that skipping breakfast, sleeping in too late, intensely stressing over responsibilities, doubting myself, and approaching the day too quickly and negatively in turn painted ugly colors on my daily canvas. Think puke green and spots of paper bag brown.

I was depressed, filled with anxiety, and not living the life I wanted to live.

When I finally understood the importance of self-love in the middle of college, my attitude about mornings changed dramatically. In a holistic sense, how I altered my morning routine transformed the harmony of my entire life. The transformation was radically visible and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself (besides letting myself eat cheese whenever I want, in the name of self-love).

These days, most of my mornings are comprised of healthy breakfasts, journaling, meditation, daily devotionals, fitness, and overall positive channeling using a variety of methods. When I tune my thoughts to a positive radio wave, I experience a consistent flow of sunny positivity throughout the entire day. I’m talking about amplified productivity, creativity, and optimism: the ultimate life hack.

I challenge YOU to take the first step to improve your mornings.

You can begin with one of the most simple and beneficial exercises I have put into practice. Spend five to ten minutes creating a list of things in the world that make you happy. Some samples from my list include: quality family time, boat rides, perfect avocados, queso, sunflowers, fresh fruit, baby animals wearing diapers, cookouts, sunshine, and Jesus.

Be as specific as possible, for it is often the little things that truly mean the most. Train your mind to remember, every morning, why it is worth it to wake up in the first place.

When you create your own sunrise, you become an unstoppable force of positivity. Don’t invite negativity into your life. It’s your party, so make it colorful, fabulous, and one to remember.

In my twenty years of existence, I have never experienced what Jim Collins, author of Good to Great, refers to as level five leadership. Many people like to say they have great leadership qualities, but Collins exposes the truth that most people do not know what it means to be effective in leading a group.

I have been a part of many organizations that attempt to teach younger people how to lead others such as the Boy Scouts of America, my fraternity, student counsel and various athletic teams, but all of these groups only teach one how to be a competent manager.

This idea of leadership has always been a vague character trait that society says is important to have, yet has been taught to me as a quality that resembles authority and discipline rather than togetherness and humility.

Going into my junior year of high school, I experienced a flawed system of leadership when I joined the football team. Regimented and brutal practices were supposed to be the binding factors of our team which would bring us together to defeat our rival, and former state champion school, which we would play for our first game of the season that year.

However, there was a clear separation within our team of those who were varsity level and those who were not. In a sense this created two different teams on the practice field, but we were all supposed to be one unified group.

Our leadership, the coaches, gave special attention to the more qualified athletes leaving most of us wondering why we were on the team in the first place. Collins refers to this type of leadership as level three as my coaches only managed us, told us what to do, but never had any real influence over our desire to improve to varsity standards. Similarly, those who were on the varsity team followed this mindset and only focused on their ability in order to win against our rival.

This type of culture lead to what Marc Andreessen calls “The Law of Crappy People”, where the abilities of an organization converge to the quality of work of its least capable person. Due to the fact that myself and many others felt we did not have anything to contribute to the team and did not feel unified, we slacked off. Many of us did not have the motivation or desire to get to the varsity level because we were always pushed to the side, told to lift more weights, run more by our managers, coaches.

This did not go unnoticed and for those on the verge of starting on Friday nights, mediocrity was a simple solution after a long day at school and they too were standing with us on the sideline. Our coaches could have gone to the next level of leader ship, level four, and been influential in creating a desire to be better every day and wanting to be at practice by incorporating us, but in their eyes we were not all star players. Nonetheless, at the end of each long practice we were told we are going to beat our rivals come the first game and that we would win every game that season.

After reading the ideas put forth by Collins, this is the worst thing they could have told us.

Having our leadership tell us after every training session that we were going undefeated that season goes directly against what Collins refers to as “Confronting the Brutal Facts”. This concept, also known as the “Stockdale Paradox”, revolves around the idea that one cannot be too optimistic when facing large tasks and that one must be realistic in analyzing the abilities of oneself or a group.

Our team was not better than our former state champion rivals, yet every day we were told we would beat them. So much confidence was cultivated even though we knew we were a smaller team, our defense had poor secondary coverage, and our star running back was always in the trainer’s office for a bad knee. When it came time to play our rivals we were up by a touchdown at the half and our team was ecstatic. However, with a limited varsity lineup and our running back getting injured in the third quarter, we lost by three touchdowns. That season we only won four of our twelve games with no chance of making it to the playoffs.

I joined the football team because I heard of the hard work and discipline I would be taught, as well as the leadership qualities that I could refine. I found myself in an awkward grey area because I had not played since I was younger and therefore was not the best of the best.

The leadership I encountered was there to manage my actions, not to teach and grow a strong culture of like-minded young men.

A level five leader has the ability to combine their own goals with humility to strengthen a group of people, take blame for mistakes and further the overall quality of a structured culture. In my current leadership positions, I try to avoid the idea that I am great and focus more on the belief that we, the people in my organization, are great.

Too often leadership is placed on a resume without a second thought as many people do not want to believe that they are poor leaders, though this mistake is a destructive one because they are not facing the brutal fact that leadership is not a trait one attains and has forever, it is worked on and refined every day.