Growing up, I always had these dark spots all over my body.

My skin was sensitive to anything. I would always pick at my scabs on my legs and arms or even scratch my mosquito bites. At one point I got chicken pox and my skin got worse than ever before. More dark spots started appearing on my skin and my skin looked horrifying.

People always asked me as a little kid why or how I had some many dark spots on my skin. I would always tell them the same thing, “Oh it’s just mosquito bites.” All of their responses would be the same, “Those are a lot of mosquito bites.”

Everywhere I went, people constantly asked me about my dark marks. After some time I started to feel embarrassed, ashamed, and ugly because of the dark marks that appeared. I stopped wearing shorts at a young age and wore more pants and capris.

I thought that would fix the problem with everyone asking me where I got all of my dark spots from.

In elementary school, many of my classmates made fun of me for my dark spots. They called me a Dalmatian like it was a fun nickname. I never told my parents or siblings about the remarks because I didn’t think they could do anything about it.

One day in middle school, I got the courage to wear shorts, but that was a big mistake. The questions started coming from my teachers and classmates about my dark spots. They would ask “Does it hurt?” “How did you get so many?” and “What caused that to happen?” I just started to feel embarrassed again and I finally went to my mom because I was tired of the people always asking me about my skin.

I went to a dermatologist and he gave me a cream to help fade away my dark spots. After some time I could tell that the dark spots were starting to fade, but the cream wasn’t too healthy for someone my age.

I stopped using the cream and didn’t have anything else to use. I officially lost all confidence in myself. I didn’t think I was pretty because I didn’t have skin like the rest of my classmates.

When I started running track in 6th grade, I still paid attention to my legs, but my main focus was to be the best on the team.

I would wear long pants all the time because I didn’t want my teammates or the people in the stands to see my legs.

Eventually I couldn’t wear the long sleeve stuff anymore because it started to get hot outside. During one track meet, a lot of my teammates asked me about my skin and I gave them the same response I gave everyone. “It’s just mosquito bites.”

I hated having people come up to me about my skin, but at that meet I was so angry that I used all my anger in my race and won. After a while, I started to just put everything I had into track.

I was still self-conscious about my arms and legs, but I was more focused on winning. I started to progress over the years in track in middle school and started to fall in love with the sport.

Track was my escape from everything. It was my main focus.

As I got in high school, my self-esteem went even lower. Girls were showing off their pretty skin and all I would wear was capris so no one could see my skin. I still did not want people to look at my skin because it was ugly in my opinion.

I would wear short sleeve shirts and people still asked me about my skin. I didn’t think I would ever have beautiful skin like everyone else because I didn’t see any changes in my skin.

Even during track season I still wore long clothing as long as possible to hide my skin. Once it got hot, I always had to expose my skin, but this time not many people asked about my skin. I started to feel comfortable at track practices during my first year of high school.

I wore short sleeve clothing once my freshman year and I thought I made the biggest mistake because so many people looked at my skin with disgust and I just didn’t even want to be at school. After a while I just kept hiding my skin, but during track season I escaped from all of my problems.

Finally, during my junior year, I was known as the “track star” at my school. This boosted my confidence a lot. Many people did not pay attention to my skin, they paid attention to my talent.

I started to wear more short sleeve clothing.

Even though I still got questions about my skin, I didn’t care anymore. Nothing could take away how much recognition I was getting for track. My passion for the sport was steadily growing and I couldn’t be any happier.

I lacked confidence until my senior year. I was still known for track, but I started to drift away from longer clothing to shorter clothing. I was able to start using a product that would help my skin and I was actually seeing a change. Some of my dark spots were clearing up and training for track was going very well.

One person helped me a lot with building my confidence. He never questioned me about my skin and always made me feel beautiful no matter what. He never focused on my skin, but the person that I was. I am truly thankful that God has allowed me to meet such a wonderful person because he has helped me a lot with building my confidence.

I am a sophomore in college now and my confidence has only increased. I have been trying a lot of new stuff to help my skin and I am so happy that the products are working. I am going to my track meets feeling confident and the only thing on my mind is my race, not my skin or what anyone has to say about it.

If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self then I would. I would tell her to not lose her self-esteem about her skin, but to build confidence from it. Your skin is what makes you different from others.

No one looks alike, so why should you want to look like anyone else?

Flaws and all you’re still beautiful. Your imperfections make you the person that you are today.

God has created us all different for a reason and to look like someone else wasn’t his plan for me. My flaws have helped me realize a lot about myself. I’ve grown tremendously as a person and I am happy for my flaws.

I have embraced my flaws, because no matter what, in God’s eyes I am still beautiful.

People often ask – either with a curious or perplexed expression – “What made you want to start the nonprofit?” I smile and say something to the effect of, “A lifetime of screwing up.”

Be About Change (the nonprofit) provides higher education scholarships to students from low-income households, and we write about individuals and organizations that embrace change and seek to make a difference in the lives of others.

Lately, when interacting with people, whether I just met them or have known them for a while, I ask myself two questions: Is there anything I can do personally to help further their goals? Who in my network of people might be able to help them?

But things were not always this way.

The questions I used to ask were usually quite the opposite and I spent a lot of time figuring out ways to avoid dealing with internal conflict, or at the very, least suppressing it (only to realize that this in fact compounded things). Social media? I thought that was a platform for complaining and posting versions of my ideal self, as projected by my ego. As it turns out, the ego can be useful, but I’ve found its energy is wasted on creating facades.

Ironically – and I’ve never actually said this before – the nonprofit functions in a similar way. It’s an alter ego of sorts, and when I compartmentalize what I believe are positive efforts, I seem to be able to hold myself to a higher standard within the confines or premise of the nonprofit. In a way, it gives me a place to practice BEING my ideal self. Not the aesthetic kind – but the kind that is rooted in the foundational principles with which I was instilled when I was growing up.

Not so long ago, I made decisions from a very self-serving place; this of course compelled me to act in corresponding ways – addictions, self-isolation, no consideration of others, permanent judgment of others, and essentially no value for the lives of others or my own.

Things got so bad I knew I either had to change or I would lose everything…including my life.

Even still, almost a year into sobriety, my darkness seemed to have a stronghold on me…and I knew, yet again, it was time for change. In a way, I felt cheated…where was the reward for voluntary sobriety? Wasn’t life supposed to be much better now? 2015…dead sober…and it was one of the most difficult times in my life…because for the first time in my life, I knew I had to travel to the deepest, darkest corners of my mind if I was to find peace.

I signed up, trained for, and ran my first half-marathon.

I spent a lot of time identifying behavioral patterns in my life and learning how my mind works. I habitually sought out new experiences and scenarios that made me uncomfortable. I got used to immersing myself in my fears. My running training was often at 4:30 and 5:00 a.m., with no sunlight. There was something liberating about conquering physical challenges in darkness.

After the run, hitting other personal records, and practicing writing more honestly, it dawned on me that I could actually harness the madness…the unsettled nature of my mind, and channel it to do something productive, while trying to help others. I use the word “trying” because there is an inherent sense of arrogance in saying “I help others.” It’s presumptuous to assume you know what is best for someone else. Rather, I try to configure and reconfigure my motivation to be conscious of where others are in life, understanding that all of us generally operate from a place where we feel mentally safe.

So…this is the longer answer to the question “What made you want to start the nonprofit?”

I can’t honestly say I wanted to…it was never some life-long goal of mine. I guess you could say I became a person that was no longer solely motivated by service to self. I became aware that the smallest effort we make TODAY can have a positive impact on a person…generations later, after that spark ignites action in others throughout time.

As I conclude this article, a song starts playing on my Spotify playlist that I used to hear when I wanted to make changes in my life, but couldn’t. When fear of the unknown was paralyzing. But don’t take my word for it.

Imagine your fears and the stronghold they have on you. Thank them for bringing you this far (gratitude for them is important, in my opinion). Then allow that energy to propel you into a state of continuously being about change. Thank you for letting me share my #halfthestory.

I never thought that skills I learned when I was 12 would play such an important role in my adult life. It’s funny. We go through life knowing that the things we learn in school build on top of each other to teach us things we will need to know to go to college, but the skills we learn outside of the classroom teach us the most important lessons of all: honor, courage, integrity, and, most importantly, perseverance.

Junior year of high school is when it all began. Everyone starts looking at colleges and begins to take the dreaded SATs. All of my friends seemed to know what colleges they wanted to go to and had been getting great results on their SATs. In the midst of the secure attitudes surrounding me, I felt lost, as if there was something wrong with me because I didn’t know where I wanted to go.

I could barely answer the simplest questions my counselor asked me about what I wanted out of a college.

My scores were good but not great and certainly far from spectacular. I thought that after working with my parents to compile a list of colleges to apply to, I would feel more secure and that I could measure up to my classmates. To my surprise, that only made me feel more anxious than ever because I began to think that I wasn’t good enough for any college that I applied to and asked myself why would they want me?

Needless to say, self-doubt is a wrecking ball that doesn’t hesitate to attack its victims and demolish any shred of mental toughness they had keeping them together. This is what happened to me. Even after I started to get acceptance letters, I felt like a fraud.

I didn’t understand why these colleges were choosing me when there must have been thousands of applicants that were more deserving.

The one college that I really wanted to get accepted to was Georgia Tech. I would joke with my friends and family about the impossible odds of me being accepted, but I was always secretly hoping that there was a welcome packet with my name on it somewhere in an office on campus. Then the day came. March 14th brought with it my entire future in the click of one button.

I remember standing at work and getting the email from Georgia Tech that my admissions decision was available online. I asked my boss if I could step in the back and check it. I got to the office and pulled up Buzzport. Before I looked, I sat there pondering things to say to my co-workers when I didn’t get accepted.

After I thought of a few that were acceptable to me, I clicked the button. My manager came into the office when he heard me crying. He came up to me and gave me a hug to encourage me that everything was going to be ok.

I turned around and proudly exclaimed that I was officially a Yellow Jacket and part of the class of 2019!

My self-doubt was shattered not by my acceptance into Georgia Tech (although that definitely didn’t hurt it either). When I was sitting at the computer waiting to click the button to see my admissions decision, I remembered the advice my Girl Talk counselor gave me when I was 12. She told me, “You are an inspiring person who has so much to offer to the world. Don’t let the words of those who don’t know you dictate your life. Let your light shine through.”

This is the motto I choose to live by every day. We are all unique and have something special to offer the world. Sometimes we hit rough patches that try to diminish the light we all have in us, but through our own strength, that light can radiate out to the world.  

By: Someone who believes in you and your strength.

(Written by Carrie Anderson)

“I deserve better —such a dangerous, mad thought for a woman to entertain.”
― Meredith Duran, At Your Pleasure

I deserve better. You deserve better. We deserve better.

The phrase “I deserve better” is still a radical thought for women. We are taught at a young age to be completely selfless. This is a cultural norm for everyone, but the point is stressed further to young girls. We are taught to give constantly without much thought of receiving. This needs to change. We need to fight for selfishness and embrace the idea that we deserve better.

We deserve better in our love life.

Sometimes it seems like I am the only 21-year-old female without a significant other. Or at least that is the impression I get when friends and family back home say “So, still single or do you have a boyfriend?”

The first thing wrong with this statement is the presumption that I need a guy in my life. I feel that I need to focus on myself right now. I deserve to be selfish and enjoy my life while I’m young and able to seek new opportunities. I deserve to go and excel in my internship this summer and find new opportunities in a potential professional career.

On the other side of the argument, there is nothing wrong with finding that significant other, but the call for selfishness remains. Nobody should settle for less than you deserve. I believe that a basis in faith is important in finding your soul mate. If your boyfriend has different morals or values, don’t compromise what you believe for someone.

Another important aspect for me is family. If a man cannot accept your family, he is not prepared to accept you. Women should demand the same level of respect for people they care about and not cower to other people’s opinions. Settling is a slippery slope that can lead to unhappiness later down the road. My job for all girls is to stand up for what you believe in and refuse to settle for any boy who is not prepared to be a man.

We deserve better in our careers.

One battle that women constantly fight is equal treatment in the workplace. It is sad that women can still be seen as just the secretaries in business settings. I am in a major and career track that is dominated by women, Public Relations, but still I will make less than any man working the same exact job.

I feel that I need to work even harder to make up for my gender. This is completely ridiculous in modern society. Two women have announced they are running for president. If that does not show the correct way to claim some selfishness I do not know what else can. We should demand the respect we deserve and not just meekly ask for it. I am not condoning being rude or obnoxious toward people in the workplace or in life, I am only pushing women as a whole to fight for what we deserve.

We deserve better in life.

Women need to be selfish for ourselves. As a culture we need to stop creating a cycle of suppression that starts at a young age when little girls take care of the baby doll while the little boys save the world as a super hero.

We owe the next generation to make ourselves into heroines that girls can look up to and say, “I want to be her when I grow up.” A little bit of selfishness can go a long way when it means that we can think for ourselves first. This may be in a potential relationship, a job offer, or an assignment or position in school. So as a whole I want everyone to ask himself or herself a simple question.

Don’t you deserve better?