(Written by Meaghan Raab)

Freshman year of college is hard for most people; adjusting to a new place, a new schedule and new people. For me the adjustment to college life was really hard.

I am the oldest of five kids in a close-knit family and I am not a big fan of change. Going to college at the University of Georgia to pursue my swimming career meant leaving my family in the small town of Hershey, Pennsylvania and attending college eleven hours away from home in a city with a student population that was greater than that of my hometown. I knew that the transition would be difficult for me, but I definitely did not expect the journey that I traveled this year.

Like most freshmen, I was excited about having more freedom than high school had allowed, for both classes and leisure time. I was eager to start the swim season and begin my career as a Georgia Bulldog. However, that time was not all fun and games.

I quickly found myself going along with what the team was doing because I wanted to fit in and feel like I belonged. As the oldest of five kids I was accustomed to being a leader, someone my siblings looked up to, but I quickly found myself becoming a follower. I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I was doing here.

I missed my family and my home, and I felt alone in this new place. I didn’t fit in with the team in the way that I had hoped, and I didn’t know where I belonged.

From the beginning of fall semester I was going to Athens Church weekly and absolutely loved Andy Stanley’s sermons. I found it easy to pay attention, and I connected to what he was saying, but something was still not right in my spirit. I couldn’t figure out what that was. A teammate of mine invited me to join her at Team United, which is similar to Athletes in Action, and I decided to check it out.

I can’t remember what was taught that night, but I knew that this was something I wanted to attend regularly. That night the leaders mentioned something called Ultimate Training Camp. From the description and the video that they showed, I decided that it looked like fun and I wanted to go. I texted my parents and told them about it. My dad’s response was “That sounds awesome, lets get you there.” I didn’t know then how much UTC would change my life, more on that later.

The things I found myself holding onto in this hard time were my family, my home, my swimming and my roommate, but over a couple of weeks each of these rocks in my life shifted. My dad accepted a new job and my family was moving. I would be leaving the town that had been home for eleven years of my life. I was struggling with two injuries, one to my left shoulder and one to my right ankle.

These injuries led me to uncertainty, wondering if I should keep training and if I would be able to swim at SECs and NCAAs coming up. More than anything, I was scared because I didn’t know what to expect for the upcoming meets. My roommate, a track team member from California, was told she needed to move out.

She and I had become good friends and had spent time talking and watching bad TV shows. We had eaten lunch together after our math class. She had spent time with my mom and I watching movies and eating pizza. I joined her mom at one of the track meets that she flew to attend. I was mad about the circumstances that forced her to move out of our room, but mostly I was sad because my friend would not be living in the room next door anymore.

Second semester began in January and swim season was in full swing with four dual meets in the month of January and SECs around the corner in February.

I have always loved championship competition season; the thrill of the meets, the physical tapering, getting to shave. Aside from the injuries, swimming was going well, I was swimming the way I had hoped that I would. It was an honor to be able to represent my school at the conference and national levels.

Spring semester had some highlights: my grades were better, swimming was going the way I’d hoped, and I was finally feeling comfortable in this relatively new place away from home. I made new friends from church that shared my faith and desire to know more. But I still found myself questioning God and the things that were happening in my life, and asking “Why?”

I knew He had a plan but I was having a hard time understanding that His plan is different than mine. I went to Team United every chance I got, and regularly heard student athletes share their testimonies. Their stories were encouraging for me to hear. I was reminded that everyone struggles, but it’s how you deal with the struggles and whom you turn to (God) that makes all the difference in the world.

When spring semester ended, I went home one last time, as my family was preparing to move to Nashville in June. It was nice to be able to see my friends and coaches one last time before the move. Hershey was the place that I had called home and it was sad to know that that chapter was quickly coming to an end. May was sad for me for that reason but I was looking forward to the end of May for Ultimate Training Camp.

UTC is a six-day high intensity sports camp in Fort Collins, Colorado through Athletes in Action. The schedule for those six days was pretty packed with biblical teachings and activities to apply what we learned. We asked the questions: “Who or what do I worship?”, “What motivates me?”, and “How do I deal with suffering?” and learned how our faith and our sport work together.

I’m sure most athletes have heard the expression “what matters is how you play the game.” I understood this phrase differently during that six-day journey. It’s true that the way you play the game matters, but what matters more is who you are playing for. The speaker told us that ultimately our performance doesn’t matter if we use our sport to worship God. We are playing for Him, to glorify Him using the talents that He has given us. Too many times we find ourselves playing for our coaches, parents and teammates or playing to prove ourselves.

With God we don’t have to prove anything; He loves us just the way we are and accepts us as we are.

One of the most valuable things I learned at UTC was that I am significant no matter what. If I swim poorly or get disqualified, or if I swim really well, it’s the same because in God’s eyes I matter to him no matter what. His love for me is not performance-based.

Different things motivate athletes. It could be money, fear of failure or winning. For me, my motivation had always come from my goals and pride. I always set high goals so that I have something to strive for; and as soon as I reached one goal, another one would take its place. Goals are a healthy motivator; pride is not.

While it can be good to be proud of something you’ve accomplished, it can quickly turn bad and like the proverb says, “pride comes before a fall.” My sophomore year of high school was my best year of swimming. I achieved best times in almost every event I swam, setting state records and winning medals. But when I competed at Olympic Trials in June, I was disappointed in my performance and my pride took a huge hit.

I began to think that swimming wasn’t for me anymore, and this doubt led me to have a disappointing junior year. I was just going through the motions, showing up to practice, swimming back and forth for two hours and then leaving. I wasn’t excited about the sport like I used to be. Thinking back on that time in my life with the new knowledge that God wants my motivation to be honoring Him and worshipping Him was eye-opening.

Suffering is an aspect of life that no one chooses, but at some point we all experience it.

It could come in the form of an injury, the loss of a loved one or many other things. The speaker talked about suffering in a way that I hadn’t considered before. She said that the main challenge is not avoiding or managing suffering, but rather embracing it in a different way. We need to remember that God has a plan, and He promises to bring good into every circumstance for those that believe.

When my shoulder and my ankle were bothering me, and when my roommate moved out, I felt like I was struggling and I didn’t understand why God would allow me to feel this way. Now I know that He knows what He is doing even though I don’t understand it. God can make beautiful things out of our pain and suffering and He will do it on His time and not ours.

The most valuable and memorable activity we did at UTC was the twenty hours of team competition called the S.P.E.C.I.A.L., which stands for Scriptural Principles + Exhaustion= Confidence In Almighty Lord. The SPECIAL culminated with the event known as Golgotha, named for the place where Jesus died on the cross.

We were bussed up into the Rockies and dropped off at the top of a very steep hill. We were to grab a 2×4 plank and run down the hill that was over a half mile long. When we got to the bottom, we put the plank across our shoulders, the way Jesus carried his cross, and then ran back up the hill. At this point with only two hours of sleep and the physical exh
austion of the events prior, I didn’t think that I would make it up the hill.

But that was the point.

The purpose was to show us that when we are exhausted and broken, we need to rely on the strength of God to get us through. I remember getting to the bottom of the hill, turning around, and thinking, “These people are crazy, there’s no way I am making it up that hill.” But I put my head down and started running up that hill. I thanked God for my life and for this experience to get to know Him better with other athletes. I told Him that I was struggling to get up the hill and I asked for His help to cross the finish line. Without God I would not have made it up the hill, but with God nothing is impossible.

The friends that I made at UTC and the principles that I learned changed my outlook on life, sport and God. I’m so thankful for the people that God put in my life during the week and the impact they had in just a short period of time. These are friendships for life here on Earth and for life in Heaven for eternity. This experience is one that I will cherish and will use as a reminder for why I’m doing what I’m doing. Going to UTC helped me reevaluate my goals for this next year in my second collegiate season as well as going into the Olympic year.

For the next year I want to be a light for God in my sport, praising Him when I do well and when I don’t. I know the next year won’t be easy, but when God is for me, who can be against me?