3 years ago, around this time, I made a decision that would completely change my life.
I was a redshirt freshman volleyball player at Long Beach State University and my dreams of making an impact on that program had been crushed. I was not tall enough for my position, my skills were subpar, I was too stiff, I couldn’t relax, my learning curve was too slow: these were all things that my head coach and my negative self talk had continuously repeated to myself.
Who was I kidding? I wasn’t good enough to compete in the West Coast. My mind had been shattered by anxiety and depression, and the confident, kick-ass athlete that I had always been disintegrated into someone I could not recognize. But my will and strength were not completely gone. I still had my Heavenly Father who had never left me alone.
I knew what I had to do to get control of my life and continue my dream of playing Division 1 College Volleyball. I decided to transfer. I knew I had to leave but I had a family in Long Beach. My teammates were my sisters and leaving them would be one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do.
I emailed about 20 mid major programs and went on 5 visits within a two-week span. This was hectic but I knew it would be worth it. When I visited Georgia State, the concrete city that is downtown Atlanta was not a selling point as I was used to Palm trees and sunshine in Southern California. It was an option, but definitely not at the top.
I visited schools in Florida and Northern California, and had plans to visit South Carolina. One night, I heard His voice. God told me that Georgia State was where I would find my home.
I had always wanted volleyball to be the number one reason why I would go to a school and GSU had the worst record out of all the schools I was considering, but He was persistent and for the first time in my life I knew it was Him and I listened.
I will forever remember the night that listening to God changed my life. I transferred to Georgia State and my life changed for the best. I returned to my true self and conquered my depression and anxiety.
Not everything was perfect when I moved to Atlanta, because many things were hard, but God provided me with so many blessings in my new home. I was blessed with a new volleyball family and sisters that I could not imagine my life without, I met the love of my life, and discovered my passion for law and child advocacy.
But the biggest blessing was finding my worth outside of being an athlete. I can almost 100% say that none of this would have happened had I not listened to God.
In His will, He holds all of our dreams and desires. His plan for our lives will always be the better plan.