I am a woman in the world—single and powerful and astonished at my ability to create my own security, “in brave and extraordinary search for my own shape.”-Mary Helen Washington
Self-esteem shatters to the floor like shards of glass, the weight of a lifetime of insecurities trampling down over a fragile identity. You feel defeated. You feel unworthy and alone. It’s no surprise you lose yourself.
I’ve been there, done that and I’m proud. Proud because hurting is what causes us to grow, to reevaluate our sense of self. To feel deeply, love deeply, and hurt deeply are the most tangible evidence we have of our humanness.
There are so many reasons why we often feel inadequate. Perhaps you struggle to overcome past circumstances or continually compare yourself to others’ unattainably high standards. Perhaps, no matter how hard you try, you fight an uphill battle for happiness. No matter where you turn, all roads lead deeper into a whirlpool of self-loathing.
You extend beyond any definition, label, or role that another assigns to you. Believe in your own strength and be proud of what you have accomplished. What is meant to be will be. What is not, will not. Hold things in your memory, untarnished and not bitter, to live there always. Trust in the ways of the world. Nothing truly matters except your happiness—go on a pilgrimage to find it. Just you and the world, spinning in space together, your own best friend and lover.
Be complete with that.
You don’t need anyone else in this world. With all your might reject the stigma that to be happy you must be in partnership with another. Those who discard you and hurt you are unworthy of your efforts and your time. Be okay with emptying the trash before it stinks, with washing the plates before they grow mold, stacking them cleanly on the shelf beside your memories.
Because at the end of the day, when all the cards have been played and all the people long gone, the only companion you are promised for life…is yourself.