Control. Life doesn’t give you many circumstances that you can control. We don’t get to choose what we look like, who our parents are, or where we come from.
Certain circumstances in our life, such as a divorce, death of an immediate family member, or a parent being an irrational alcoholic can completely alter our perspective on life. I’ve always wondered how the things in my life that can affect me the most are things that I have no control over. Why is that the way it is?
I am a believer in God, but I am not your everyday church person. One thing I did learn is that he gave us something that we can control. Our free will. We get to make choices that impact our own bodies, the life we want to live, and the person we desire to become.
I don’t know if there is a legitimate reason for my actions thus far in life or if it’s because I just have a good conscious, but I am currently still a virgin.
Yes at 21 years old, a college graduate, world traveler, Greek life, white lower-middle class girl, I have not taken that step. I have been drunk, I have had plenty of opportunities, I have talked to great guys, but I have always said no. Part of me thinks it’s the fact that I like having that control over myself. The other part thinks its because I am being a good Christian.
We were given this gift from the man above to make our own decisions. It’s safe to say I have felt little to no pressure from my friends to have sex. There have been times where we are playing “Never Have I Ever” or they are sitting there talking about last night … and I have nothing to add to the conversation.
I have felt content about my decisions though. The fact that I am content makes me ponder why I am writing this but I think it’s because it’s safe to say that I maybe have 2 or 3 close friends that are still virgins. When I think about the vast majority of my other 1,500 friends on Facebook, they are the ones who could add to that conversation.
I have nothing against those who have already made that step. I have friends who have very strong libidos and friends who regret their decisions. It has been an interesting perspective getting to see both sides of every situation. When I do think about my friends, I am lucky because they would be there if I wanted to call and ask them the craziest questions that come to mind.
I am writing to the men or women that are just starting college. You have no idea what is going to happen or the circumstances you are about to face. Hell, I told my mom I am going to college; let me get on birth control because I am probably going to have sex.
Then, I just got fat, bigger boobs, and cried to my roommate who I’d never met before. Finally, after not having sex throughout college and 15 pounds heavier, I learned how to say no, and so I scratched the concept.
I lived college to the fullest. I didn’t spend money on plan b pills, condoms, or tissues on boys who were just going to go on to the next. Instead I just spent money on clothing, alcohol, and jewelry. Every morning I woke up not having to question how far I went or if I should get checked. I know my answer is “NO” and no matter how far gone I might seem, I know that I have control and the power to use my words and say “no.”
People who know me say I should be proud. People who know me would say I am a good person, a person that has a big heart. I am proud for who I am, but to be honest, part of me is embarrassed because finding a virgin is so rare in college. The other part of me thinks it makes me unique.
I have decided to wait and find the person worth waiting for. I realize it isn’t my time yet, but it will come. If it isn’t your time then, don’t force it. Don’t ruin the one thing you have control over.