It seems as though as more time passes on, the more often I log in to my Facebook and find yet another post on my news feed written in honor and remembrance of a loved one that has taken their life.

Loved ones lost too soon due to the overlooked, underestimated, all-encompassing power that a mental illness has the potential to hold on our minds. Depression (alone, or in the wake of other mental illnesses) is more and more confused by the uneducated as merely just a feeling or phase, rather than a mental health condition with the need for understanding, attention, and treatment. To my point, it is imperative that society becomes more cognizant of the crisis we are facing, especially among adolescents and young adults, today.

One life lost to suicide is one life too many, and as time goes by we are seeing more lives being voluntarily taken because of the overbearing angst, crisis, and sweeping lack of hope those suffering are consumed by.

This form of epidemic we are seeing is one that should be completely preventable. Yet more people we know, or have mutual friends with, will continue to suffer from depression, take their lives, and that still may not be enough to bring about the awareness we all need pay careful attention to.

Which leads me to my point about compassion. It is crucial that we understand and practice the importance of being compassionate toward others, whether they happen to be close to us or not. We are all human, we all feel, and we all hurt. Most importantly, we all need to know we are loved. Yes, it may sound a little silly, but this concept is basic and our society’s mental stability depends on it.

To continuously know we are heard, to know we are cared about, and to know we are not alone all have the potential to foster a sense of faith and hope in someone struggling that could quite possibly be a leading reason as to why when we are suffering, we keep holding on. In the past few months I have trained to become certified in Mental Health First Aid in order to work as a volunteer for the New River Valley Community Services Raft Crisis Hotline, located in my college town.

It has been through my time throughout this experience so far that I have been fortunate enough to learn first-hand how one can impact another’s sense of well-being and assurance, while at the same time being a complete stranger. It is through the conversations I have had thus far that have shown me how truly vital a listening ear, a caring heart, and providing a sense of support for another can be to someone in need of just that.

So that the struggling person knows that not only is someone here for them, but here with them. Simply showing unrelenting compassion can dramatically influence the mindset of someone who is drowning mentally, whether you realize it or not.

For those who are contemplating what steps they will take to end their lives or experiencing suicidal ideas, it is as if they suffer from an irrefutable perspective of themselves that they no longer recognize. A perspective built upon the foundation that their life has little value, and is no longer worth fighting for. Although the hardships brought about by having a mental illness hold power in creating such a perspective, some individuals may have never reached the point of attempt and/or completion had they been shown and made aware of the fact that they are being heard, cared about, and accompanied from the beginning.

I strongly believe that suicide is an individual’s decision that ultimately only that person has sole power over, and in some cases, cannot be prevented in regard to what loved ones or those close to the person ‘could have done.’

However, perhaps if we as a society made it more instinctual to act in ways that are more compassionate, more kind, more supportive, more aware, then those we love would have more foreseeable opportunities to find the hope needed in order to take the appropriate steps toward recovery. To be reminded that our lives are valued, cared for, and paid attention to may have the ability to lead one to a sense of worthiness in valuing and caring for oneself that they otherwise would have never found on their own.

Perhaps the strength needed in those struggling to learn to love who they are and to fight for the value of their life can be (even just a little bit) sprouted by simply the way in which we pay attention to and show compassion for them.

 On the outside, she is brightness, radiance, beauty, and kindness.

On the inside, her light has gone out.

The darkness that lies there is emptiness, loneliness, hopelessness.

There is nowhere she can hide from the darkness that lives inside.

She puts on a smile to try to hide the darkness from others, but there’s no hiding it from herself.

She does not want to be a burden, so she conceals.

She lies to her friends when they ask how she is.

She tells herself that it’s just easier that way.

There’s no reason to bother anyone with her problems.

There’s no reason for anyone to have to look at her differently or treat her as a fragile being.

She doesn’t want to be known as too weak or too broken or emotional.

So she doesn’t let anyone have those thoughts about her.

It’s just easier that way.

She is kind to everyone.

She strives to help others in any way she can.

Because she knows what it’s like to feel empty and hopeless and she doesn’t want anyone else to feel that way.

She has a big heart and enjoys showering others with love and compassion.

 She could probably use some love and compassion herself, but that would be a sign of weakness and vulnerability.

So she denies herself the love she needs and instead sends all of her love to the world.

It’s just easier that way.

But the truth is, it’s not easier that way.

She struggles alone because she believes it’s easier for others, when in fact it is the hardest thing to do it alone.

Reaching out for help feels like a cry for attention.

So she doesn’t reach out.

She struggles alone and stays out of the spotlight.

It feels easier this way, but it’s not.

(Written by Carrie Anderson)

“I deserve better —such a dangerous, mad thought for a woman to entertain.”
― Meredith Duran, At Your Pleasure

I deserve better. You deserve better. We deserve better.

The phrase “I deserve better” is still a radical thought for women. We are taught at a young age to be completely selfless. This is a cultural norm for everyone, but the point is stressed further to young girls. We are taught to give constantly without much thought of receiving. This needs to change. We need to fight for selfishness and embrace the idea that we deserve better.

We deserve better in our love life.

Sometimes it seems like I am the only 21-year-old female without a significant other. Or at least that is the impression I get when friends and family back home say “So, still single or do you have a boyfriend?”

The first thing wrong with this statement is the presumption that I need a guy in my life. I feel that I need to focus on myself right now. I deserve to be selfish and enjoy my life while I’m young and able to seek new opportunities. I deserve to go and excel in my internship this summer and find new opportunities in a potential professional career.

On the other side of the argument, there is nothing wrong with finding that significant other, but the call for selfishness remains. Nobody should settle for less than you deserve. I believe that a basis in faith is important in finding your soul mate. If your boyfriend has different morals or values, don’t compromise what you believe for someone.

Another important aspect for me is family. If a man cannot accept your family, he is not prepared to accept you. Women should demand the same level of respect for people they care about and not cower to other people’s opinions. Settling is a slippery slope that can lead to unhappiness later down the road. My job for all girls is to stand up for what you believe in and refuse to settle for any boy who is not prepared to be a man.

We deserve better in our careers.

One battle that women constantly fight is equal treatment in the workplace. It is sad that women can still be seen as just the secretaries in business settings. I am in a major and career track that is dominated by women, Public Relations, but still I will make less than any man working the same exact job.

I feel that I need to work even harder to make up for my gender. This is completely ridiculous in modern society. Two women have announced they are running for president. If that does not show the correct way to claim some selfishness I do not know what else can. We should demand the respect we deserve and not just meekly ask for it. I am not condoning being rude or obnoxious toward people in the workplace or in life, I am only pushing women as a whole to fight for what we deserve.

We deserve better in life.

Women need to be selfish for ourselves. As a culture we need to stop creating a cycle of suppression that starts at a young age when little girls take care of the baby doll while the little boys save the world as a super hero.

We owe the next generation to make ourselves into heroines that girls can look up to and say, “I want to be her when I grow up.” A little bit of selfishness can go a long way when it means that we can think for ourselves first. This may be in a potential relationship, a job offer, or an assignment or position in school. So as a whole I want everyone to ask himself or herself a simple question.

Don’t you deserve better?