(Written by Mary McPartlan)

Everyone comes from a different background and how we are raised determines a lot about who we become. Some lucky ones follow a simple route, but most of us have some bumps along the road. For me, my relationship with God began the moment I was born, I was a cradle Catholic, meaning regular attendance to church, baptism, Sunday school, confirmation, the whole works. Religion was easy and it was a part of my childhood and how I was raised.

I said what I was supposed to say, did what I was supposed to do, and I had loving parents who did all the right things to raise me. I had a relationship with God and while it may not have been a deep relationship, I knew He was there.

Throughout my years in school I did the right thing, made the good grades, and stayed out of trouble. I had planned out my life to a T, to go to college, marry the first guy I fell in love with, and live happily ever after. The spot I had for God in my life was something along the lines of “I’m doing this on my own, but if I need help, God will be there to make it happen for me.”

I thought that as long as it was in the back of my mind and I knew He was always still there, then good things would happen to me.

Toward the end of my senior year of high school I got into my first relationship and I thought it was perfection. Being a hopeless romantic, I thought that once I had the guy, everything would work out perfectly. I no longer needed God because I had gotten everything I wanted and my life was on track without any major effort into maintaining a relationship with God.

Then college came around and I stopped going to church altogether. I took the credit for having myself together on my own and not needing any intervention. Weekends were spent partying with friends and visiting the boyfriend. It’s not that I was against church, as both of my parents are regular attendees, it’s just that I didn’t place it as a priority. So when I didn’t have it as a priority, going to church became a thing of the past. I had my new life on my own where I was happy and church no longer seemed relevant.

What I realized a year later is that a relationship can cloud a lot of things.

It’s a hard blow when you think you had it all together and didn’t need any help and then things just stop working out the way you thought they would. When I got out of that relationship and entered the single pool again, I felt just that, ‘single’. I was dazed and confused and not sure where to head next.

I spent the year searching for more happiness and control in my life in places it wouldn’t be found and Sunday became just another day of the week, void of any real significance. The hardest part became realizing that I was flawed in my thought process for so long. I relied so heavily on this other person in my life as being the reason why I had my life together.

My thoughts for an entire year consisted of believing I didn’t really need God because I had done everything on my own and it was working so well, and now I felt I had messed up along the way. Something went wrong and it took me months to figure out that the thing I was missing was something I willingly gave up.

I hadn’t been to church in months, except for the occasional visit to home, in which I politely obliged to sit through the service with the family. It didn’t mean much to me, my pride still had the best of me. But along the way of getting into my second year of college, the fog cleared, and I felt the slightest tinge of magnetism toward church. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt I needed to go. Even so, not wanting to admit fault for the beliefs I blindly followed for a year, I came up with excuses.

I told myself that once I got a car, I would go.

That excuse held up for a while, until a couple weeks later I got my own car, and spoiler alert, I still didn’t go. It wasn’t until weeks later when I finally made the move to ask my friend if she would go to church with me. But I didn’t just go to the Catholic church I’d been raised on where I’d mindlessly go through the motions, I went to a church that meant something to me, a church directed toward students like me, a church with a community of people like me, a church that welcomed me anytime and every time I show up; I went to Athens Church.

I won’t say that the first time I went back to church there was some jaw dropping, awe-inspiring moment. But I did have a moment, a moment where I felt right where I was supposed to be and that this was the next step in my life to follow through on.

This was something I shouldn’t just try out once and then never show up to again. And I finally realized that no one can do everything on their own, and that the plans I come up with in my head are definitely not God’s plans. No matter how much I want them to be, they just aren’t. I lost my faith for a year, thinking I had everything under control, and it wasn’t until my plan got some bumps in the road did I realize that I wasn’t even on the right road.

To be honest, I’m glad I found out now rather than years later, continuing on with a relationship where I didn’t consider God a priority. I’ve realized I don’t want to settle for a life where God is not a part, and the people I have in my life, should share this with me. I continue to strive to surround myself with people who help me grow closer to God, not leaving me stagnant.

I grew up believing in fairy tales, and while I don’t think Prince Charming is going to come magically sweep me off my feet, I’m still a hopeless romantic in believing that I’ll have my story one day, and God will be there too. By building a relationship with God, I’ll find the community of people I want to be with. Andy Stanley said it best, “Be the person you’re looking for is looking for.” I’ll find the one who puts God at the center of his life, but only after I do it first.

(Written by John Brady)

3-2 Curveball

Sometimes when you think you have life figured out, you get a curveball. On some occasions not only do you get a curveball, but you get the 3-2 curve- the ultimate surprise. The 3-2 curve is what my family got on February 24th of this year.

My wife Jill, who works in a doctor’s office, felt something on her chest that was out of the ordinary. Dr. Weldon, her boss and our friend, examined her right there in the office that morning. He confirmed her fears when he told her that he believed there was a high likelihood that the mass he had examined was cancerous. Dr. Weldon left his office, where he had a full slate of patients to see, and came to tell me what he had discovered. He didn’t have to do that, especially with the work load he had during the day but because of the magnitude of the situation I am so glad he did. He laid out the process and the steps ahead of Jill and how she was going to whip this evil thing that had decided to invade our lives. We were still afraid none the less.

The next week or so was a blur. Go see this doctor, go see that doctor. Jill was getting poked and prodded like crazy. Miraculously, we got things done in a week or ten days that would normally take a month or more to get done.

Her oncologist told us she was getting things done so fast he could hardly keep up. This is the first of many times I saw a higher power at work. There are no doubts that only because of the hand of God were we able to have tests and answers so quickly and smoothly. I thank God for this because waiting for information is brutal. Even though one of the answers we got was that she did in fact have breast cancer, at least we knew what we were dealing with.

The Duck

I always preach mental toughness to the kids that play for me. Perhaps more so than any specific fundamentals, players need to train to be tough. I try to teach kids that there is absolutely nothing you can do about what has happened or will happen. Furthermore, your success on the field and in life is going to depend largely on how you respond to adversity.

Bad things are going to happen. You have to focus on the here and now as well as your reactions and emotions. There is an old cliché that says life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond. I try (sometimes poorly) to keep a calm exterior even when mistakes or adversities happen. Be positive. Focus on this pitch. Players and coaches can’t let emotions get the better of them. Be in control.

You have heard the analogy of the duck that is calm as can be above the water while kicking like crazy underneath. Many times that is me during a game. Now I have to practice what I preach in real life situations, not just some baseball or softball game.

My prayer, especially during these early days, was for God to give me peace when I was around Jill. Even though I would be churning underneath, I would need to be calm on the surface for her. I continued to tell myself that God is with us, and He loves us (Isaiah 43:2-4).

There is no doubt God answers prayer because every time I would go home I found peace and strength that I hope was of help to Jill. On several occasions when I would go lift weights in the morning before school I would just sit on a bench in the weight room by myself and cry. Thank God, when I would return home to get ready for school I would always find the peace I needed to be strong for Jill.

There would always be a calm when I was with her. I would try to pump Jill up and tell her, “You are going to be fine. You are going to whip this thing and will be known as a survivor for the rest of your days! DO NOT BE AFRAID!!” Having said that, I am not sure how much she needed me. She was pretty strong from the get-go. I have grown to admire and appreciate the strength she has shown through all this. Sometimes I think she is calm both above and below the water.

Praise

God never promised us that all of our days would be easy but He did promise in Matthew chapter 28, verse 20 that He would always be with us. We also know that God did not give us a spirit fear but of love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). Since this is the case, should we give in to human nature and be afraid or worry? No. I would encourage people to choose to praise God even in the biggest storms. That’s right. Jill has cancer. Praise God

(Psalms 34:1, 150:2)! Admittedly, this sounds odd. But, if I may make an observation, I think that this is where many people go wrong in their lives when adversity hits. Please do not misunderstand me. I’m not casting stones, and I am not implying that I have all the answers.

Rather, I understand that human nature is to want to feel sorry for yourself and want others to feel sorry for you, however I believe God wants us to refocus on Him when turmoil hits our lives and praise Him for all the absolutely wonderful things He has done in our lives as opposed to sitting back and saying, “Oh whoa is me”, or getting angry at God and questioning His sovereignty. The Bible offers wonderful words of wisdom in James 4:8 where we are told: Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Even though there is evil in this world and bad things happen to good people (Jill is a WONDERFUL person by the way), understand that God is still in control and THAT ALONE is a reason to praise His name and to continue to live and enjoy life.

Perspective

Jill and I have become acutely aware that most things in life are just not worth getting upset about and losing sleep over. Furthermore, there is always someone else battling demons and could be going through much worse circumstances. Nobody, unfortunately, is immune to the trials of life. Hopefully, if someone else was going through a trial of some sort, they have seen hope in me and my family.

I have made it a point during this time to NEVER give people the impression that our lives were anything other than wonderful. While that was not always easy, when asked how I, we, or Jill was, my response would always be: “Outstanding”, or “We are blessed”.

No, I wouldn’t pretend that nothing was going on. I would be honest about Jill’s treatments, the side effects she would experience, the fear of losing her hair, the anxiety of having to make potentially life changing decisions, or anything else people would ask about. But, I want to use this as an opportunity to let people know that life still MUST be lived. Even though we got the 3-2 curve, we are able to keep our hands back and we still intend to hit the ball hard.

In Closing

I thank God for Dr. Weldon and the hand he had in getting us pointed in the direction we needed to go. Unfortunately, Dr. Weldon passed away suddenly a month or so after Jill’s diagnosis. I tried to thank him for everything every time I saw him. I hope he knew what he meant to us. Moreover, the love and support our family, friends, and fellow community members have shown has been and continues to be overwhelming and humbling to say the least. Thank you does not even come close to covering the gratitude and appreciation we have.

Jill’s prognosis is good and we believe that this bump in the road will soon be a distant memory. If you are going through a hard patch, you will have to decide whether the circumstance is going to dominate you or whether you are going to hold your head up and keep moving forward.

I have heard it said that the same boiling water that hardens the egg softens the potato. I hope Jill doesn’t mind being compared to food but she is an egg :). She is a great example of the fact that a positive attitude gives you power over your circumstances instead of your circumstances having power over you. Life will not always be easy, but I would encourage everyone to PRAY and PRESS ON! Remember, Psalms 145:18 says that the Lord is near to all who call on Him. God Bless!

Who am I and what am I doing?

This question has plagued me for the past three and a half years.  It has consumed my time, energy, thoughts, and emotions.  This fundamental question of why.  And my attempts to answer this question have only made me more and more confused about the realities of this life.

Therefore, I will cease attempting to answer these questions.  And when I do, I will finally see.  “Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways trust in the Lord”.

Where does wisdom come from?  Why do we do what we do?  What is the point of all of this?  

The questions come flooding back in and I don’t know why.  It frustrates me to no end that I am not able to discern the truth of these matters.

Alas, that is my fate.  For I am not a great wise man.  Neither am I a particularly righteous or godly man. Though I have tried incredibly hard to be one.  I am not entirely sure what it means to be godly, but I know it is nothing that I have come close to attaining.  In all of my attempts to become like God, I have only succeeded in becoming a hypocrite.  For I cannot make myself perfect.  And the more I try to be perfect, and uphold the law of righteousness, the more I fail.  And as I fail I become more and more distraught with myself and my life situation.  Yet I continue on this path.  I seem destined to struggle forever.

Yet there is one who can save me from my toilsome and meaningless labor. And that person is Jesus Christ. This I know because I have heard it from those who have been saved from Christ himself.  Who saw the Lord, and recognized Him for who he is: God.

But who am I?  I am but a man lost in the world, seeking answers and finding only confusion.

The Lord said “repent”, and I keep on my unfaithful path.  The Lord said “turn from your ways” and I obstinately yell no. Without fail.  Though I want so badly to turn and take his yoke upon my shoulders, for I have heard this yoke is light, I continue to be weighed down by my own wickedness.

What is it that prevents me from turning to that which I so desperately desire?  My own desire to become a righteous person.  A selfish desire to triumph over my own evil ways so that I may have something to boast about.  But in Christ there is no boasting.  “For the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”  And this is the message that I have received.  The same message preached in the gospels.  The same message that has been spread all over the world, according to the will of God.

And so, as I look for ways to distort the message so that it will sound more pleasing to a new generations’ ears, I must stop myself.  The message is the same.  It will not change.  For God has said “my word will last forever”. What then shall I say about these matters that has not already been said There is nothing I can add to the message.  It has been spoken by God himself through the prophets and apostles through the Holy Spirit.  The Spirit of Truth.  The Advocate.  What then, can I possibly do?

At last I realize.  I am no teacher.  I am no wise man.  I am no righteous person.  I am merely a sinner.  A common man.  One of the multitude.  And now I must ask of God the only thing that I am permitted to ask: mercy.

This is my struggle.  And not just my struggle, but all of ours.  For all of us are born into this world as infants.  Unknowing and innocent.  And all of us experience life, which tends to destroy this innocence we once possessed.

Yet all of us have access to the hope that is in Jesus Christ, that we may enter back into the land of the innocent, from whence we came.  To once again experience love and peace and joy, without fear.  And though we may suffer dearly today, there is no force greater than the Love that is in Christ; not even death.  And this Love extends to each and every one of us.  And this is the truth.