Mom… Mother…Ma…Amy… Amy Shay!
Well now that I have your attention, I can start. For one, I want to apologize that I’m not there with you today. I’m sorry my finals schedule sucks. BUT I promise I will make it up to you next week when we’re at the Biltmore. We’re not going four or so months without seeing each other again. It has been too long and I don’t like it.
I could thank you.
I could say how much you inspire me to do better.
I could say how you’re able to pick me up from hundreds of miles away.
I could say how much I love that we can spend all day on the beach doing nothing.
I could say how grateful I am that we have such a good relationship because I know some of my friends don’t.
I could say how much I can’t wait to spend the better part of three weeks with you.
I hope you know all that you have done for me, which I wouldn’t have enough lifetimes to make up for. I can only hope I can be as good of a mom as you are to the kids I have one day. I hope you Alex, Dad, and Rosie have a lovely relaxing day because you deserve that and so much more. I love you mom and I can’t wait to see you.
Love,
Ashleigh
“It’s cancer.” We hear these words every day—whether it’s in reference to the lump they found in your mother’s breast, the reason you just lost a loved one, or a friend’s recent diagnosis.
This is the reason I immediately joined UGA Relay For Life when I entered college, because I was tired of living in a world where everyone seemed to have cancer. Although no one in my immediate family had cancer at the time, I was constantly exposed to the sadness and devastation cancer wreaked on the people I saw every day.
Rather than throwing in the towel, I turned my sadness and frustration into passion and determination and gave my all to Relay in hopes that my efforts would help to someday create a world with no more cancer. Part of these efforts entail visiting the Atlanta Hope Lodge, a hotel-like accommodation near Emory’s Winship Cancer Institute where cancer patients traveling long distances to receive their treatments can stay free of charge, courtesy of the American Cancer Society and the money we raise through Relay For Life.
It’s a simple visit: we cook them a hot meal, make sure their needs are met, and sit down with them for some conversation. These people confide in us, sharing their stories fully and explaining how cancer affects their lives.
When strangers—and often, friends—hear me talk about Hope Lodge, they say, “why would you do that?” Why would I subject myself to so much sadness, why I would “waste my time” trying to cheer up a bunch of sick people in my spare time?
I’ve never felt more hope than what I feel when I sit with those people. Hope Lodge residents radiate a certain hopefulness that can’t be matched. Despite their circumstances, these people maintain positive attitudes and have an appreciation for life that no one else can really understand until they’ve been in Hope Lodge residents’ shoes.
UGA Relay For Life has taught me a lot, but perhaps the most valuable lesson is to never lose my faith in the organization’s mission and most importantly, to never give up hope. When I feel defeated, whether it be from school, a job, or what have you, I think of the endless hope that those cancer patients have and I realize how thankful I am to have had this opportunity to meet such inspiring people and to fight for such a worthy cause.
As of this moment that is how many people I have reached with my story Try Not To Blink. A number that completely exceeded all of my expectations. Hitting over 100 likes on Instagram is awesome but reaching over 6,000 readers… I am blown away.
This incredible experience would not have been possible without the Wish Dish. When Bryan and the WishDish team reached out and asked me to write a personal story that could be shared with the community I was honored but a little nervous.
I am, by all means, an average writer. I took English classes because I had to and, as a marketing major; most of the content I produce is confined to a 140-character limit. I had a great story to tell. I had just lived the best three months of my life traveling around Europe but I didn’t know how to put it into words worth reading.
The WishDish not only provided a platform to share my story but friendly guidance and feedback to help make my story the best it could be. And I am grateful for their efforts in helping me produce quality content that students and members of the community would not only want to read but benefit from reading.
“Try Not to Blink” is one of my favorite works and will forever be a reminder to myself of the experiences I had abroad. Writing this piece allowed me to take the time to reflect on my experience and share my advice with other twenty-somethings looking to explore the world. I am so excited for the other members of this community who are making a difference with their stories. The WishDish embodies the word community. Challenging individuals to share personal words or works of art, inspiring readers to create and innovate, and defining millennials by individuality.
I wouldn’t want my words to represent anything else.
My name is Damir and this is my story.
This is a story about a dream, an idea, a passion so strong that is still burning. But what if that passion inside of you is not enough?
It was Friday, November 6th,2015. I told my friend at work, “I am going to San Diego in a month and I am going to have my book, The School of Greatness signed by Lewis Howes himself.” My friend was in shock. He said,” How are you going to do that? We haven’t received our paychecks for 3 months.” I replied, ” I am going to tap into the power of crowdfunding and raise 1500 dollars online.” He still didn’t believe me.
I was so excited. I’ve always wanted to meet the person who has been the catalyst in my life for 2 years now.
For those who don’t know, Lewis Howes is a Lifestyle Entrepreneur, former professional Football Player and the host of the famous podcast, The School of Greatness. Actually, he has a new book out called The School of Greatness.I read it several times so far. It’s amazing. Let me give you a brief reflection on how I got involved in Lewis Howes’ content and podcast.
My life changed completely in November 2014. I just got back from the States where I worked and traveled the Eastern United States. I’ve met so many people from different countries. I partied in Ocean City, Washington DC, Miami and eventually New York. When I got back to my little country, I was depressed. It was like, yesterday I was living in New York and watching the Yankees (my favorite baseball team) but today I am in this crappy room in Porec, Croatia.
That first day after I got back, I made a commitment to myself that I am going back next year (still working on it). My plan was to find a job in Zagreb while sending my resumes to US employers hoping to get hired. But that wasn’t the case.
Long story short, after finishing the college I ended up in Zagreb with no job, money and no purpose. I didn’t know what to do. At that time, I was staying at my friend’s apartment and he told me to check out new podcasts on iTunes. He said, “Check out this guy Lewis Howes, he has some good stuff which you can learn from. I have been listening him for 2 months now.” I said, “I don’t need some damn podcasts, I need money.”
Before November, 2014 I had no vision in life. All I did was have fun with the girls and enjoy life. But after I started to learn from these successful people on School of Greatness podcast, my habits changed. I defined my vision. I came up with my morning routine. I started to meditate, read self-improvement books. In a nutshell, Lewis introduced me to this beautiful world of successful people and showed me how to lead a meaningful life.
Now, let’s get back to the morning after my sleepless night. I woke up excited about my plan and the thing that I am going to San Diego to meet Lewis Howes in person. My heart was beating fast. Have you ever felt excited and uncomfortable at the same time? I am sure you did. It’s the most incredible feeling. That’s the sign for taking action. I immediately phoned my friend to come to my apartment and help me record a video for my campaign.
He came ASAP and we were soon at the main Plaza in Zagreb in the crowd filming a video. I was so terrified. Each time I would recite my prepared campaign speech I would stutter. We took about 30 shots and came with 30 different videos but none of them was fluent in my opinion. I wanted to be perfect. I went home frustrated. My head was buzzing. I laid down on bed and fell asleep.
When I woke up, I told myself at loud in the mirror, “I am not giving up.” The next day, I recorded my campaign video alone in my room (taped my iPhone to the wall and recorded myself). I was happy and satisfied.
Again, negative thoughts came to me but I shook them off and posted the video on my campaign page at fundmytravel.com. I conquered my fear of putting my recordings online. Boy, I was so elated. Later that day, I wrote a brief description of my campaign and posted it on Facebook.
I was doing a Periscope every other day. Other than that, I posted daily on facebook, google+, twitter and instagram. I sent about 100 messages to my friends and I was letting them know what I am about. E-mail marketing was active as well. I blew up my twitter acount. I decided to follow the followers from Lewis hopefully they will follow me back I and I will send them my own prepared message. They followed me back but rarely answered my message. All my friends promised me to pitch in with donations but somehow they didn’t take me seriously.
I asked them 2 times and had enough because I didn’t want to appear like a beggar. But that didn’t discourage me at all. I was facing my fears and just pushing forward. Then, first donation came in, it was 10 dollars and then another 25 dollars…. I thought, here we go, I am going to San Diego. My campaign took off, finally. I was learning so much about online marketing. By the 10th day of my campaign, I raised 90 dollars. I kept promoting my website and e-mailed strangers and friends.
You must be saying now, “cut the b… and tell us did you raise enough funds” ?
Unfortunately , I didn’t succeed in my mission to go to San Diego and to meet Lewis Howes at his Book Signing but I ‘ve learned a lot in the process. I’ve learned how to fail forward (according to John Maxwell) and that I am very proud of.
There is a lesson in my story that I want to share with you.
And the most important principle I’ve learned from my experience is this :
If you want people to give something to you, first add value to them without expecting anything in return. By adding value to people first, they will give you anything you want before you even ask them.
I know that I will meet Lewis soon but this was an amazing journey. Journey of opportunity, overcoming fears, perseverance and boldness. Don’t give up on trying new things. Be brave and remember to enjoy the journey because the journey is what matters.
We live in a small world where we must learn how to play with the cards we are dealt. Everything is part of a bigger picture and the slightest detail can make the biggest difference. Life is chaotic, confusing, and challenging, but that is part of what makes it beautiful and worth living: it is a beautiful disaster.
We ask ourselves why bad things happen to good people; we wonder why life is unfair. We live in a world with natural disasters, poverty, world hunger, war, and crime. Negativity surrounds us, but without it, we would not know what positivity is. How would we appreciate sunny skies without a little rain? If it never rained, then partly cloudy would be less than perfect.
Life is not perfect—everything needs a balance between the good and the bad—and sometimes, things are out of our control, but we must accept them for what they are and move forward. Learn how to play the cards life has dealt you.
I am still learning how to play, and I am doing the best I can. That is all we can do: our best. We all face different obstacles, some worse than others, but we are still living in the same hell just with different demons. One of my demons is depression.
Mental illness does not go away overnight. It is an everyday struggle consisting of medication, doctors, therapists, and yourself. You are your toughest critic, worst enemy, and the one person you cannot avoid. It is easier to fake a smile and pretend like everything is fine than to admit to others, sometimes even yourself, what is consuming you inside.
You are falling apart inside with no way out. You become a different person and you miss who you used to be. You look at old pictures and wonder where that happy person went—you feel lost. Asking myself why this was happening to me did not help. Saying life is unfair did not help. Sulking in my sorrows did not get me anywhere. I felt hopeless, but thankfully I had someone who saved me from myself. He changed my perspective and brought sunshine into the storm clouds in my head. His name was Pablo; may he rest in peace.
Pablo was one of the greatest friends I ever had; he was an incredible person always full of joy—always lending a helping hand. He kept me centered. He always reminded me to count my blessings instead of my problems; he always gave the best advice.
He taught me how to see the negatives as blessings in disguises. Life is a learning experience and everything happens for a reason. It is hard to understand what that reason is, but I believe life is not meant to be understood. There is not a survival guide to life; life is not black and white—it is grey.
Perspective is everything: “some people look at sunsets as the end of something beautiful that once was: the day. Others see it as simply a new beginning to a different, but equally beautiful, thing: the night.” The day I understood everything was the day I stopped trying to figure everything out.
My situation became irrelevant when I saw it as a potential blessing, as a learning experience, as an opportunity to better myself. I changed my perspective and I changed my situation. Everything happens for a reason, and like Douglas Adams put it: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I [know] I have ended up where I needed to be.” I learned how to play the cards I was dealt with.
Stop focusing on the negatives and become the best version of yourself. Learn to appreciate what you have and make the best of it. Strive for excellence and never get discouraged by the journey because you are capable of doing anything you set your mind too.