My whole life I’ve been told to pay attention. I was told that I would never do well in school because I couldn’t stay focused. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I had ADD.
When I was four, I learned how to tie my shoe laces. About a week afterwards, I completely forgot how. I sat on the stairs of my childhood home, completely baffled with myself.
At the time, I never understood why I couldn’t remember; my parents just thought I was being a typical four-year-old who constantly forgot things.
Once I started school, things got worse. I would come home from school and my mom would ask me how my day went and I would just reply with a simple, “Good.” The honest truth was that there were parts of my day I couldn’t even remember.
Me and my family.
This resulted in me almost failing kindergarten. Yes, kindergarten. The place where all you do is learn about shapes, basic words, and numbers.
My mom pleaded with my teacher to let me pass if I got my reading and math skills up.
Every night after school, I had to sit at the table with my mom and go through everything I learned at school that day.
This would take hours. We would sit at the kitchen table from when I got home to when I went to bed. The rules consisted of no playing with friends, watching TV, or playing sports until my reading and math levels went up.
I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn’t remember simple things. This routine continued on for about four years. My parents tried everything: from having me stay after school with teachers, to my grandma (who is a retired teacher) tutoring me, to even enrolling me in an after-school learning program. Even with all their efforts, none of it worked.
It wasn’t until the fourth grade that I was tested for a learning disability.
Come to find out I had something called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This basically means that I struggle with focusing on one thing.
Think of it like focusing on five things at once, all day every day. Then when your brain says I’ve had enough, it “shuts down.”
From the outside, it appears like you are daydreaming, but on the inside, you are actually fighting to get out of this state of aimlessly staring at something irrelevant for a countless amount of time.
Me and my teammate after winning a volleyball competition.
After I was diagnosed, I was put in special education classes because I was behind in reading and math by two grades. I hated it.
They made me feel stupid, as if I wasn’t as smart as everyone else. From that point forward, I vowed to myself that I was going to do whatever it took to get out of these classes.
By the time I reached middle school, my reading and math levels were up to a sixth grade level. I believe this did not happen because I was in special education classes; this happened because of my determination to make myself better.
I worked hard every single day. When I got home, I sat in my room and re-taught myself everything we went over in class. Once I was caught up in school, my parents finally allowed me to pick a sport I wanted to play. I chose volleyball and absolutely loved it.
ADD had shown me at a young age what determination and a good work ethic look like. During middle school and high school, I got all As and Bs and never went back to a special education class.
In high school, I even took a couple honors courses. I never told my teachers about my disability; I always wanted to be treated like a normal student. I hate special treatment.
When my mom told my teachers about it at the end of the year, they were always dumbstruck because it never seemed like I had any issues with paying attention. Most of my friends didn’t even notice until I told them about it.
I kept it as my little secret because I never wanted anyone to treat me like I was stupid or slow because of it.
Having ADD is a part of who I am as a person. It has taught me a lot about how strong and determined I am.
Not only did it help me excel in school, but it also helped me become a great volleyball player. Turns out, having ADD is great for volleyball, I can focus on five things at once and not be overwhelmed and still get the job done.
I blame ADD for making me a self-determined person. I would not be a D1 volleyball player at Georgia State University without it. It has shown me so much about my personal strength and how I can do anything I put my mind to.
God gave me ADD for a reason; He gave me this challenge because I was strong enough to overcome it. I no longer see my ADD as a disability. Instead, I see it as a gift.
