I would come nowhere near labeling myself as a sentimental. However, the nostalgia I feel for college life comes all too often. I miss the Classic City. I miss being in a college student mindset – invincible, limitless.

What I miss most though are the people.

UGA is huge. With over 36,000 students enrolled, it can be easy to get lost in a crowd of people, especially when you are from a small coastal town in Southeast Georgia. What is special about UGA though is how many opportunities there are to get involved.Once you put get your foot in the door to a sorority or fraternity house, the Center for Student Organizations (now called the Center for Student Activities and Involvement) or any of the college ministry groups, it opens up a smaller world where you can find your own niche, becoming a name not just a number. The involvements I listed are just the ones I was involved in, not mentioning athletics or the plethora of other fun, communal activities on the UGA campus.

Compared to my four years at UGA, post-college life has been lackluster.

A big part of this for me was the transition from personal relationships to professional relationships. Transitioning from deep, 2 AM Little Italy relationships to somewhat surface, work relationships was difficult, and for an extrovert like me, the isolation that I let incur from that was toxic.

Finding purpose was another big part of the transition for me. I am a true millennial in this way. Work to me needs a purpose, a reason; it needs to make a difference. In my first job out of college, I liked it, I liked the people, but I did not feel like I was working towards anything. I was learning, I was making great friends, but I could feel myself feeling stuck, lonely and purposeless. I was not separating my purpose or identity from my work and I could not see beyond that job.

After almost a year in my first job, I decided to venture elsewhere in the hopes that returning to a familiar place would spark something in me that I knew I once had. I found a fellowship with a local youth ministry, applied and was accepted. It was a place I had not imagined myself being again but a place I am eternally grateful for, home.

In every dream I had before this point, home was not where I was and a fellowship was not what I was doing, but here I am. For me, coming back to my roots, my foundation, sparked my dreams again and set me on a different, but incredible journey. Although I am still working on the purpose bit and have just acknowledged at this point that there will probably never be another time like college again, coming home allowed me to regenerate, dream again and set my sights on something new and hopeful.

It allowed me to remember where I came from so I can imagine where I want to be.

I loved college, and I will never have that same experience again, but post-college life can be just as enjoyable and life-giving if you are able to find the balance between purpose, identity, work and life. It is hard work; it may take three moves, two jobs and one journey home to get you there, but it is possible.

Hopefully, I will be in graduate school next year working towards a degree in social work. A field I had never considered until two mentors on separate occasions both mentioned it to me. Had I never come home though, I may not have ever thought about social work and the doors it can open.

The journey has been different than I expected but so worth all of the people I have met, lessons I have learned and new dreams I am working towards.

#MORETHANMYSPORT

Over the past year, more than 50 student athletes have shared their story on Wish Dish from across the country. If you read some of these stories, you will notice that many of these stories share consistencies such as injury, faith, anxiety, depression, isolation, identity, and suicide.

While student-athletes might struggle with similar pressures of college students, we have also learned that student-athletes are some of the most passionate and driven people. Simply, they are not defined just by their sport. The adversities in their sport make them better people … lessons that apply to their everyday life.

From all of our conversations, we decided to launch a campaign focusing on self-identity called #morethanmysport to allow athletes to share who they are beyond their sport. This campaign was well received, connected student-athletes closer together, and started the spark for athletes around the country to realize they are so much more than just their sport.

Mary Terry, University of Georgia, Track & Field

What do cosmic brownies, old people, and Zac Galifinakis all have in common? Mary Terry loves all of them (Even though they have absolutely nothing to do with running. Watch Mary’s video to learn about more of her favorite things.

Connor Messick, University of Virginia, Golf

Connor may one-day hope to be a professional golfer, but in the mean time, he can still travel the world and whip up a batch of delicious chocolate-chip pancakes. What Connor’s video to find out what else he does when he’s not on the golf course.

Keturah Orji, University of Georgia, Track & Field

As much as Keturah loves track and field, she loves Jesus even more, and as fast as she may run, she’s even faster at solving a Rubik’s cube. Watch Keturah’s video to find out just how long it takes her to solve a Rubik’s cube.

Leontia Kellenou, University of Georgia, Track & Field

Leontia probably wishes she could use her high jump skills to propel herself 7,000 miles to her home in Cyprus whenever she wanted. But instead she must wait for summer to go visit her family and friends. Watch Lenotia’s video to find out what she loves (and doesn’t love) about her home.

Meaghan Raab, University of Georgia, Swimming

Two truths and one line: Meaghan has moved seven times. She once had a massive bouncy ball collection. And she can recite every line of Tangled. You can find out which of these facts is true by watching Meaghan’s video.

Tatiana Gusin, University of Georgia, Track & Field

Tatiana plays one sport, but she’s lived in two different cities called Athens and speaks four different languages. You can count on some more fun facts about Tatiana if you watch her video.

Mady Fagan, University of Georgia, Track & Field

Mady might be known for the power in her legs, but did you know that she’s just as skilled with her hands? Check out some of Mady’s drawings and paintings by watching her video.

Bridget Sloan, University of Florida, Gymnast

The clothes that Bridget wears while she is doing gymnastics are just as important to her as the sport itself. And her love for all things fabric doesn’t stop there. Watch Bridget’s video to find out what we mean.

Reed Scott, University of South Carolina, Baseball

Reed is a team player when it comes to baseball, but he is just as much of a team player off the field too. Watch Reed’s video to learn about all of the different ways that he loves to contribute to his community.

Chantal Van, University of Georgia Swimmer

Being an Olympic swimmer doesn’t stop Chantal from indulging in all sorts of junk food, and being a bad dancer and singer doesn’t stop her from shamelessly busting out her moves. Watch Chantal’s video to learn about more things you might not know about her.

If you are student athlete or former student athlete and want to connect to our athletics community, please ask to join from this link. We look forward to empowering student-athletes around the country to express themselves and connect in meaningful ways.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/167710410323239/

“The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present.”  

Throughout high school, I constantly found myself wishing the days away, and college was often the only thing on my mind. I couldn’t get out of my hometown fast enough; figuring that I would leave for college and never look back.

I didn’t appreciate the value of family, and didn’t understand the meaning of true friendship. I tried to live life according to a mental image that I had pre-set for myself, panicking if something even slightly deviated from my plan. It wasn’t until an unexpected turn of events, beginning a new chapter in my life, and a growth of my faith that I finally realized I am the key to my own happiness, but not the sovereign of my future.

Through many hardships, I have learned to enjoy every moment and not to stress myself out with the things that are out of my control. Back in my high school days, and even into my early college years, I would worry about every minor detail that went awry.

From something as small as which prom group I was invited into, to as big as what would happen if I didn’t get into the school of my dreams, everything just had to work out as I had prepared.

I liked following a set schedule in which every minute of every day was perfectly planned out.

But I quickly found out that life doesn’t work this way, no matter how hard you try. For as long as I can remember, my Saturdays have been spent between the hedges cheering on the Dawgs, while simultaneously admiring all of the cheerleaders below that I aspired to be. Sanford Stadium was the one place that I felt comfortable and completely at home because many of my childhood memories took place there.

I was in for an unexpected reality check when I quickly went from the excited high school cheerleader driving up to see my role models on the sidelines, to being the average college student watching the game from the stands.

Being the planner that I am, I previously had my entire college career envisioned. I would be on the UGA cheerleading team; simple as that…right? Wrong.

One minor accident would send me kissing that plan goodbye.

“Crack.” The cringing sound that still lingers in my head and haunts me to this day. The cringing sound that would end my cheerleading career. The cringing sound that would shatter my dream. 

To this day, I can still clearly visualize the 9-foot tumble out of the arms of my teammates onto the unwelcoming foam mat. I can still feel the excruciating pain shooting up and down the right side of my body, scared to make the slightest movement. I can still hear the hissing silence of my teammates, waiting to take a breath before they made sense of what just happened.

One simple slip of my base’s hand led me crashing to the ground, unexpectedly changing my life forever. From that moment on, I knew that all of the preparation that I had done had just gone flying out the window. My broken leg would cause me to miss UGA cheerleading tryouts, and there was nothing I could do to change it. Thankfully, I got accepted early admission to The University of Georgia without the help of cheerleading, so my hard work, planning, and high test scores paid off.

This was a huge weight off of my shoulders, so I spent the rest of my senior year trying to make the most of my high school experience.

However, I still felt as if I was living a life on a pedestal according to other people’s standards, constantly trying to people-please and caring way too much about other’s opinions. I let my “friends” walk all over me, and my acquaintances influence my behavior. I probably could have fooled you, but I was anything but happy. If I can pinpoint an all-time low in my life, I would definitely have no problem choosing my transition into college.

I was completely lost and felt like I had wasted my entire life looking forward to something that was no longer in the cards. I frequently found myself wandering down memory lane, putting myself back on the sidelines of those Friday night football games or Spring Break trips to Panama City.

I was finally living in Athens like I had always dreamed, but all I could think about was how badly I wanted those high school days back; the youth that I had previously taken advantage of. Those days didn’t seem all that great at the time, but that’s the problem with our memory. It has a funny way of only retaining the positive experiences, and conveniently forgetting the negative.

I was attending the University of Georgia as a freshman, living out the typical “American college experience.”

It was an opportunity that many teenagers would kill for, yet I didn’t appreciate or take full advantage of it. So after much debate, I decided to accept the past and follow a new path, deciding to go through sorority rush.

It started out as a tough adjustment going from my well-known identity in high school to an average, unknown student in college, but I was adjusting better than I thought that I would. Yet even as I started becoming closer to my sorority sisters and meeting so many new people on a daily basis, I still felt lost and off-balance.

I no longer had my “cheerleader” image to rely on, so I had to work hard to develop a new identity, forcing me to get out of my comfort zone and learn so much about myself.

At first, I struggled with finding a happy medium. I used alcohol to fuel my social interactions and mask my awkwardness, proving to be far more personable with the help of some liquid courage. I was becoming very social, but I quickly realized that the friendships that I was forming based on drunken-nights downtown were surface level. They were a large improvement from many of the unauthentic friendships that I endured in high school, but I still felt very alone.

It wasn’t until I took a step back and started caring less about what others thought of me, and more about what I thought of myself.

I became more outgoing, independent, and confident in who I was, without needing validation from others. I’m not perfect.

In fact, I’m nowhere near it. I’m stubborn, but I’ll admit when I’m wrong. I complain at times, but I am always trying to please others. I forgive too quickly, but only because I value relationships too much to let stupid arguments affect them. I can be quick to judge others, yet I know how crappy it feels to be judged. I am clumsy and trip at least twice a day, but I am an athletic person who knows how to get up and shake it off.

I am the definition of awkward, but I am also one of the most social people you will ever meet. I do embarrassing things, but I know how to laugh at myself. My imperfections may not make me flawless, but they make me…me.

Throughout my time at the University of Georgia, I have loved, lost, lived, and learned a tremendous amount.

I have grown as a person, and improved as a friend. I am not the same person that I was four years ago, and I will not be the same person four years from now. My experiences, although I didn’t realize it at the time, have shaped me into who I am today.

I have realized the importance of taking it day by day. College has made me appreciate the meaning of true friendship, where people accept you for who you are. Or they don’t, and you learn to get over it. I have realized that some people have been placed in my life for a reason, some for a season, a few just for now, and others for forever.

I no longer try to impress anyone or live up to expectations. I am not going to stress myself out about the future, or keep living life in the past. I have had more fun in my college years than I ever thought possible. I have made friends that would bend over backwards for me; those who will pick me up from downtown at two in the morning so I don’t have to walk home alone, bring me coffee when I am late-night cramming for midterms at the SLC, or stay awake for hours on end having meaningful conversations when they know I am on the verge of a break down.

I have realized the importance of family and faith, confident in the fact that I always have a comforting home to come to when the stresses of life become too overwhelming. I have a God that will always love me more than I could ever imagine, even on the days that I still struggle to love myself.

So, as I near the completion of my final semester at The University of Georgia (Go Dawgs), I do not know what my future holds.

I do not know the answers to the repeated questions from friends and family members over the break about my plans following graduation. I may not have a set job lined up, or a guaranteed career path ahead of me, but I do know that I will live every day to the fullest. I will not let expenses get in the way of my desire to travel. I will not let others’ opinions transform me. 

So for now, I will focus on becoming the best version of myself, pursuing my passions, and defining my self-worth in the One who truly matters. Everything else will follow. We don’t definitively know our forever. We don’t even know our tomorrow. But we can make the most of our now.  

Each day is a gift, which is why they call it the present.

Lastly, Rachel heads to Australia after graduation … If you would like to support her travels, please feel free: https://www.fundmytravel.com/campaign/hAbjOqJuK5

 Everyone has a story.

This story is a journey of one’s life. It is this journey and our experiences which define who we are today and who we will become in the future. Like everyone else, I have a story. I went into my senior year of high school with the goal of being accepted into my dream school: the University of Georgia.

I figured this goal would allow me to focus on myself and allow me to find a sense of peace in the midst of all the unhappiness I was feeling at the time.

Toward the end of my senior year, I was accepted into UGA and, in May 2011, I graduated from Brookwood High School. These were some of my fondest moments. I grew up in a very sheltered home, where I did not have as much freedom as other teenagers my age. It made growing up difficult and made me “hate” my parents. It is safe to say I did not have a good relationship with my parents when I was a teenager because they were so controlling and overprotective, which is why being accepted into college, away from home, was something to look forward to.

As move-in day approached in August 2011, I was not excited about moving into a dorm and transitioning into the college world. I knew it was not because I didn’t want to leave home and my parents, but because I did not want to pack. I did not feel ready to embark on a journey I had been waiting for my entire life. Move in day came and my parents and my brothers helped me move into my dorm. While I unpacked a few things on my own, they went out and bought me a futon for my dorm room. After they came back, my brothers and my dad assembled my futon.

I remember thinking, at that moment, that I could not imagine life without them.

After they finished assembling the futon, they were ready to leave. As I said goodbye to them I got teary-eyed. However, I quickly tried to get over it so that it did not seem like I was going to miss my parents. From that evening on, I quickly adjusted to the college life and did not want to turn back. I enjoyed spending time with my roommate, my first friend in college. We wanted to try everything together.

The very first night I moved in, we heard there was a house party and we both wanted to go, mostly because we never went to “parties” while growing up, and we wanted to go for the experience. Although it turned out to be lame, we agreed the next time there was a legitimate party at a bar or club in Athens, we would go. Then, the Thursday of the first week of school we heard about a party hosted by a sorority at a club called Sideways, and it was the best “real college party” my roommate and I went to. My roommate and I did not drink that night, but we had so much fun dancing to good music, going to Waffle House afterwards, and hanging out with friends in our dorm room until 7:00 am the next morning.

That night marked the beginning of many great experiences, crazy adventures, and late nights.

Aside from the fun aspect of college, I came into college undecided on my major. It was a scary place to be. While I was growing up, I never knew what I wanted to become in life. My brothers knew what they had interests in since they were five years old. I used to wonder what was wrong with me. Why did I not have the passion for something that others had? I spent the first semester of college taking the core classes everyone needed to take and spent the mean time figuring out what I wanted to major in.

Eventually, my dad influenced my choice in a major. He suggested I study business, but particularly finance. He told me there are so many opportunities in finance. I remembered thinking, “what is business?” I literally had no concept or understanding of what business was, yet alone finance. Then, the second semester of freshman year came along, and I officially declared finance as my major. I did this mostly because I was tired of telling others I did not know what I wanted to do with my life.

At that point, I thought my worries were gone and all I would need to do is take classes for my major and just graduate.

Boy was I wrong! Before I could officially claim finance to be my major, Terry College of Business needed to accept me into the finance major program. I thought this was odd because most people just begin their major when they get into college. I soon learned the Terry College of Business is one of the top ranked business schools in the U.S. and students had to apply to get in because it was so competitive. I spent my entire sophomore year taking all the Terry entrance classes.

During my first semester of sophomore year, I took Accounting I with the infamous Swati. Everyone told me to take Accounting I at another school where it would be easier to make a good grade because Swati’s class was “terrible”. However, I figured it could not be as bad as people say and as long as I worked hard and studied a harder, I would be fine. I figured I would challenge myself to take Swati’s class. I bombed my first Accounting I exam. I had never done so badly on a test in my entire life. I figured now that I know what to expect I can prepare myself for the second exam. The second exam came around and I remembered leaving from the test around 9:00pm and crying all the way back to my dorm.

I dreaded checking the grade after it was posted a few days later. The moment I checked my grade I cried my eyes out and immediately called my dad to tell him I was going to fail at life and I wanted to change my major because I could not handle my accounting class. However, he was not letting me give up like that. I ended up dropping the class and retaking Accounting I at Georgia Perimeter College.

The experience taught me that no matter how much I work hard in life there will be times when things do not go my way.

However, those pitfalls are not a reason to give up and run away from the problem but tackle the issue head on. At the end of the day, everything will be fine. I was getting through my last set of Terry entrance classes and was beginning to apply to the business school. I was not as worried about getting into the business school because I had made A’s and B’s in the entrance courses. However, applicants were required to take a standardized test, called the ETS exam, to qualify as an applicant for the business college. I knew I was terrible at taking standardized tests. Students are only allowed to take the ETS exam a maximum of two times.

The first time I took the exam, I bombed it. I was nowhere near the acceptable score range for a finance major. I remembered calling home and crying about what happened to my parents. They told me to find a way to prepare for the ETS exam and to pray about it. I come from a family where my parents were devout Christians and I was raised to go to church every Sunday and praying in the evening together as a family. However, I just did all these things for the sake of my parents, not because I felt like I needed God in my life. I remember when my mom encouraged me to pray about the ETS exam, I actually pulled my Bible out, read from it, and prayed about the exam. I took the ETS exam and scored exactly the score I needed in order to qualify as a student who wanted to major in finance.

At that moment, I praised God and realized there is so much power in prayer.

I sent in my application for the Terry College of Business in September 2013 and got accepted into the Terry College of Business with a major in Finance and a Co-Major in International Business in October 2013. This was my next greatest achievement. I was so excited to share the wonderful news with my family and friends. That night I celebrated by going to bars in downtown Athens and had an enjoyable night with my friends who supported me along the way.

December 2013 I secured an internship at the Gwinnett Tax Commissioner’s Office for summer 2014. This internship opportunity was provided for me through an old friend. Considering that we live in in such a competitive world, I realized there is so much power in building a network, especially in the world of business. January 2014 I knew I needed to grow personally and professionally. Now that I was accepted into the finance major program, I knew my classes would be tough and it would have been nice to have help along the way. My close friends were not business majors so I knew they would not be able to help me in my classes.

I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and try something new.

I decided to join the professional business fraternity on campus, Delta Sigma Pi. Joining DSP was one of the best decisions I made in college. More than having friends in my finance classes or a network, I had the opportunity to meet diverse individuals of different backgrounds and experiences. DSP also allowed me to build friendships with some amazing people. Spring 2014, I was pledging for DSP and taking the Terry cohort classes (a set of classes all Terry students take upon entry into the business school regardless of major).

One of the best classes I took that semester was MGMT 3000 with Christopher Hanks. Christopher Hanks began the entrepreneurship program at UGA. Although his class was unorganized, I enjoyed his class because he was a wonderful speaker. He preached entrepreneurship and always had great insight to offer.

Professor Hanks began every class with a quote: “Life begins where your comfort zone ends.”

I find this quote, although short, to carry so much meaning. Hanks was right, life really does begin where our comfort zone ends. Life is about stepping out of our comfortable bubble and taking risks. We cannot achieve what we truly desire in life without doing so. It is okay if we fall, fail, or look stupid. We just have to pick ourselves back up and keep fighting for our desires. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. “Life begins where your comfort zone ends.”

I literally live by this quote every day and encourage those around me to do the same. May of 2014 I went to India to visit my grandparents. I usually went to India every 2 to 3 years ever since I was born just to visit my grandparents. Ever since I started college, I never thought I would never have the opportunity to visit my grandparents between summer classes and internships. By the grace of God, I was able to go to India three weeks after school ended that year. Immediately after I got back from India I interned at the Gwinnett County Office of the Tax Commissioner.

August 2014 kicked off my senior year. Over the summer prior to beginning classes, I was very nervous about senior year because I knew it was going to be the hardest and busiest year in my college career because I would be taking all of my upper level courses for finance and international business. My Corporate Finance class defined the fall semester of 2014 with Professor Lu. Professor Lu was a very brilliant man. He graduated from China with a degree in engineering, received his Master’s degree in economics from Duke, and his PhD in finance from Columbia. Shortly after receiving his PhD, he started his teaching career at UGA.

Professor Lu taught our finance class as it were a master’s program course. I walked out of every single test in his class not feeling good about them. I wanted to drop his class at midpoint but my goal was to graduate the following spring, so dropping his class was not an option for me. My friends and I struggled through his class together and survived. After I took my finals in December 2014, I went on an alternative winter break trip with about 20 other UGA students.

The trip was called IMPACT.

Going on this trip was a way of stepping out of my comfort zone and going on a week-long service trip to Savannah, Georgia with 20 random UGA students right before the holidays. The trip was a great experience and I had the opportunity to meet some amazing individuals while serving the rural and homeless community of Savannah. I reached home in time for the holidays and it was a chance for me to really reflect on where I was in life.

Fall semester of senior year I only focused on making good grades in my classes and barely made the effort to look for a full time job upon graduation. I was disappointed in myself after knowing someone who had five job offers, many of those who accepted their offers, and there I was with no offers. The pressure to obtain a full time job in time for graduation was on. January 2015 approached and I told myself I am going to get a job offer from a company no matter how many sacrifices I would have to make.

I struggled in my finance classes once again, but I made sure to find the balance between classes and finding a job.

In January, an acquaintance of mine came with the Global IT Services team from Ernst & Young for campus recruiting. I talked to her before attending the meeting and she encouraged me to attend the meeting even though the meeting was catered to Management Information Systems & Technology and Computer Science majors. I attended this meeting and realized I was eligible to apply for one of the positions. At the end of the meeting, I spoke with the experienced recruiters at Ernst & Young and they quickly grew very fond of me because of my acquaintance.

February 2015, I interviewed every week with 1 to 2 companies per week for a full time position. I never prayed so much in my life until February 2015. I even asked my parents to pray for me whenever I had an interview. I made it to Round 2 interviews with Ernst & Young. By that point, I knew this was the best company I had ever interviewed with and I needed to successfully get through Round 2, because I had not made it to Round 2 or gotten offers from any other company.

I put school and life on hold and asked a handful of my friends inside and outside of DSP to help me prepare for all aspects of my interviews. March 4, I had my Round 2 interviews at the EY office in Alpharetta. March 5, the campus recruiter called me and told me I had gotten an offer from EY. March 7, I accepted my offer from EY. Praise God! Without the never-ending prayers and support from my family and friends, this would not have been possible.

At that moment, I felt as though a huge burden was lifted from my shoulders.

I went into spring break feeling so relieved and happy. It was the first time in the longest time I had genuinely felt so happy in life. All that was left to do now was to get back on track with my finance classes and graduate. After accepting a job offer and knowing graduation was so close, I was losing motivation to work hard in my classes. The only way I was able to get myself to concentrate was to “live” at the Miller Learning Center.

I remember being there on Friday nights studying when the building was practically deserted. But I did whatever I needed to do in order to finish strong. The most challenging class in the history of my undergraduate career at UGA was Applied Corporate Finance with Blasko. My graduation was contingent on me passing this class. The night before the final exam, a group of friends and I spent the night at the MLC studying for Blasko’s final and took his exam the following morning at 8:00am.

I ended up passing his class and graduated this past May 2015. I owe it all to my mom and dad. They gave me one of the greatest gifts of all, an education. Without their constant, never-ending love, prayers, and support I would not have made it. I moved back home shortly after graduation and I am glad I did. There really is no place like home. Going off to college made me learn to value and respect my parents. More than earning an education and accepting a job offer, I gained a stronger relationship with my mom, dad, and my brothers. I would not trade it for anything in the world. Post-graduation, I began my career at Ernst & Young on June 1, 2015.

I have completed two full weeks at the firm and have already met so many wonderful people. I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for me now. I have learned, experienced, and grown so much in the past four years and I hope and pray I will only continue to learn, experience, and grow for the better.

There’s  a story that has greatly inspired me over time. A boy, whose teacher asked the class to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up for homework. The boy then went home and wrote down that he wanted to be on TV.

He turned in his assignment the next day to his teacher, she looked down at him, and then proceeded to call his mother. She told his mom that he wasn’t taking his assignment seriously and that he needed to write down what he actually wanted to be when he grew up, something realistic. Knowing that he was probably going to get a ‘whoopin’ as he arrived home from school, he tried to sneak in, yet he was caught and his mom told his dad to deal with him.

So his dad takes him outside and reads the paper and instructs his son to write down whatever his teacher needs to hear, turn it in, and then keep this piece of paper within reach and never forget it.

So the boy turns the paper in to his teacher and continued to work towards his goal every day and hasn’t stopped yet. That same boy is now the host of Family Feud, the Steve Harvey Show, Little Big Shots, his own radio show, has hosted numerous events, and made a living off his childhood dream.

That same boy is Steve Harvey. It is that same drive, perseverance, and passion that I truly believe burn deep within me and push me to challenge myself each and every day. To risk it all for others, and to continue to fight the good fight. I come from a family of 9 children. A family of more than enough kicking and screaming, bunk beds, and forced sharing.

I am 3rd to youngest, only to my two little twin brothers. A family where each one of us is in our own zone, and had chosen our own paths early in life. But with this I learned what it is like to have your voice drowned out among the noise. When often no matter how hard you try sometimes your voice isn’t heard even though it may be unintentional. It’s no secret that I am a black male, but it’s lesser known that black males only make up 2.7 percent of UGA’s student population.

Out of Georgia’s 30% black population, UGA does not accurately represent the demographics of the state as the flagship institution.

In a school with 35,000 other students it’s very easy to get lost in the wind, and get pushed into the crevices of this great institution. Too often left behind in the march ahead, or silenced among the masses. Coming to UGA and having to adjust to the demographics implored me to find ways to make this campus more diverse in terms of race, truly because I thought many were missing out on what a great college it really is based on stigmas.

I joined organizations like the Black Male Leadership Society, where I later went on to become President, and the Student Government Association, where I’ve been Chief Justice the past two terms. I used the connections I then made to be able to advocate on behalf of minority students and find unique ways to change the campus culture. It is what I have spent a lot of my time doing at UGA and have truly enjoyed every moment of it.

But I wasn’t always the one on the front lines of this battle. I was once deemed as shy or quiet.

Blending in among the crowd like a grain of sand on a beach. It was in the 8th grade when I learned a valuable life lesson as I failed to make the cut for the basketball team. I only wanted to be talented in basketball because it was what seemed cool, and what others seemed to care about.

It had never occurred to me at the time that my eloquent voice could be used for advocacy and impacting the lives of many in a positive way simply because it wasn’t flashy. That is when the switch clicked.

I knew I needed to use my voice for others. But by the way, I did go on to play basketball in high school, in case you thought I sucked. The decision to run for Student Body President came from a place of purpose, a place of passion, a place of hope, and a place of calling. It is that fundamental belief that we are all created equal and no matter how small, or how different we may be, we all belong and not only deserve, but are guaranteed a voice.

If you have ever played in a band you know that although some instruments may be louder and seem to drown out others, each instrument is critical to creating the ultimate sound. I run so that I may speak for the forgotten. To give a voice to the voiceless, and to bring together each and every student on this campus, from all walks of life, to unite as one and speak as one.

From a young age in school and with friends I knew and still feel to this day what it is like to be left out.

And even if one student felt that way, it would break my heart. I will never make promises that I can’t keep in ensuring that each student will have each individual issue taken care of. But I can say that I will spend every ounce of drive in me to strive toward that goal. It isn’t always about jumping to a storybook ending; sometimes you just have to write the first word.

Saying that we are ALL IN  is a very intentional statement. In choosing to run, I have given up internships and organizational opportunities, taken off work, and sacrificed time with family and others. I say that not because I want you to feel sorry for me, because this has been an active choice everyday. I want everyone to understand that sometimes things are bigger than yourself.

It isn’t always about you.

We are all just pieces of a whole picture, stories and snapshots of memories that tell a greater story, and I am here to lift all voices up. I have been told over and over in my life that things couldn’t be done. That I wasn’t going to succeed in areas of my life, and that my dreams and aspirations were too lofty or unattainable. But over and over again, I have proved each and every one of them wrong. I hope to do so again. I want to be an inspiration to each and every other student just like me.

I want to light a fire in every person I come into contact with and to help ignite their passions for what they believe in. Because then and only then, can they be satisfied with the outcome knowing that they gave it their all. I implore anyone who reads this to never give up, write your own destiny, be yourself, find your talent and use it to positively impact someone else’s life, and always, go ALL IN.

(Anonymous)

Hello it’s me, hi, happy New Year ______! You don’t have to reply to this letter if you don’t want to, and I am SO sorry this is so late and incredibly overdue. I fully expect you to be annoyed and over the strain between us right now but, I just want you to know that I love you a lot and that you could never do anything at all to me or for me to not think the world of you, your character, and your heart for other people.

I fully accept responsibility for my actions as a shitty friend, but please know it wasn’t my intention. It wasn’t because of you or anything you did.

This is purely me, and I think sitting down to analyze it, I realize that I couldn’t talk to you about it because I respect your opinion and I know what you have to say is going to be true. Maybe, subconsciously I didn’t want to hear the truth I already knew but was denying myself. This might sound like a bunch of frustrating BS but please at least keep reading so I can best get across why I have been so panicky about talking to you. I feel so stupid and weak. I’m don’t remotely feel like myself saying all of this so its hard for me to explain, especially to someone who knows me as well as you do.

I just hope this comes across the way I mean/feel. I have spent months typing this out and throwing my letters away. I have a ton of envelopes addressed to you tucked in my bible because I just can’t seem to bring myself to tell you just what’s going on. (Partially, because I myself don’t know and I’m having a hard time fighting it.) I think the fact that I know I’m a strong person with a positive mindset is what makes it so difficult for me to accept something is wrong. This semester, I barely went to class, barely went out (believe it or not), didn’t participate in anything that I love, and stopped volunteering and praying entirely. Not because I didn’t want to though, that’s the part I struggle with.

I just had no motivation to get out of bed.

I didn’t want to run or work out or even get up to shower because it was simply too much effort for the day. I would wake up and just wish I were asleep. Opening my eyes to realize it was day was only followed by a nagging pain in my heart, an annoyance that I had to get up and deal with the day. That’s not me. That’s NOT who I am and that’s NOT who I want to be. I can’t keep living this way.

You know I don’t believe in taking medicine everyday. I believe everything you do is mental. Your mind controls your perception and your mood and the amazing thing is, I fully believe that humans have the ability to alter that. Mind over matter, get over it, get your ass out of bed, follow your dreams, life you life, seek joy, love wholeheartedly, be the person you have been sculpting and refining for 2 decades. It sounds dramatic. I’m not crying yet, but my heart aches writing this as if I were. I don’t know why this is happening. I don’t know why I can’t shake it as easily as I want to. I know I WILL, but I think I needed a new approach and a supportive environment for this weird, foreign time my life.

I have been pushing this off for a long time and I think it is all finally catching up with me. Consequently, the anxiety is increasing exponentially. I’ve realized that I am a sensitive person, more so than I ever thought I was. I am sure I don’t need to be so much of that.

I knew I finally needed to get help when I stopped wanting to shower or be conscious. It really scared me that in my mind I thought of drinking as something I could use to ease my consciousness. I never acted on it, and that makes me feel a little more in control, but the thought still lived in my mind.

I stopped wanting to wake up.

This is weird, not hard for me to say because I believe I would never act on it. It’s not who I am or what I believe in but thoughts of just ending it all fill my mind daily and that’s when I knew I couldn’t just sleep it off anymore. Something is wrong. My soul is dim and withering. Why can’t I just be me _____? I’m having really hard time attempting it with out thinking about something morbid. I can’t follow my heart; I can’t do basic things that I need to function. That’s bullshit. What is that? What the actual hell? What’s happening? I don’t like to say “I can’t”, I’d rather it be substituted with, “I’m not able to right now,” because I know I am going through this for a reason and that there is a plan in mind for me regardless if my shit is straightened out or in a complete, shambled, mess.

Whatever this has taken from me, it hasn’t taken my determination to get away from it as fast as I can. I think about death all the time wanting to or not, believing in hell or not. Myself or not Myself its there, and I need to get a handle on those thoughts. I went to my Dr., diagnosed with severe depression and high anxiety. Consequently, that’s why I was so nervous about talking to you. Freaking out over stupid stuff is a daily reminder that I’m not who I know myself to be. And, I don’t want anyone to know, because this isn’t who I am. This is not remotely who I am, and that eats at my core just like not talking to you was eating at me everyday.

I knew there would be a flood of emotion in explaining it all, and that I would have to reconcile with that. I’m so sorry _____. I am so sorry for how I have acted especially after you gave me the best birthday ever. I couldn’t even thank you for everything you did for me. I’m just so ashamed and weirded out by this phase and I just want it to be over. I’m taking medicine to appease my parents but I know this is a mental thing I must over come myself and that’s why I need to leave Athens for a little while. Sometimes I wonder if I have a brain tumor or something that’s altering my behavior unknowingly.

Please know I am doing better since being alone. I have been doing better at praying everyday and mostly because I want to pray for your Grandma Jo, and I hope everyday that she is doing better than the day before.

I love you so much and I honestly consider you my best friend. You get me and a lot of people just brush me off and think I’m weird. In all that I’m involved in, you’d think some people would notice like I know you would, but oddly enough, I’m safe in their indifference. Tired, is how I would relate the emotion in the simplest of terms. I’m tired of people who are too afraid to be themselves, the majority in my sorority; a “Top Tier!” group of “sisters forever”. Gag me. Sometimes It’s really just an avenue for rich little girls from the same area to take a power trip. Have some damn originality, and don’t refute others who dare to venture away form your safe identical pretty rose-colored bubbles you refuse to see the world without. I’ve never been a fan of people that only loved and gave people the time of day when it was convenient for them.

That’s a lot of salt.

A lot to swallow, but you know how aggravated shams make me. Things that aren’t appear as they seem. Which, I guess that makes me a hypocrite since I’m the one I’m sure people see as perfectly fine. Robin Williams said something I feel I can really relate to, “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” He also says, “The tragedy of life isn’t death, but what dies inside us while we are living”. I only hope that the part of me that dies and burns away, is this part. That’s my biggest fear right now. What if something good goes in its place? What if I loose my spirit and turn colder, they way you see so many adults have; changed from their youth, seasoned in darkness?

I only told ________ some of this because she would push it under the carpet in a way and not make me face the truth like I knew you would. I know that’s what I needed and what I am doing now by typing this all out. I would rather tell you this all in person but I feel like I would cry so much that I couldn’t get it all out and you know how I am about fully explaining myself lol.

My heart is breaking. I’m almost balling now, sitting on the beach typing this, listening to the waves crash. It’s a little chilly and I just spilt beer all over myself because a seagull scared me. You are my best friend and I have so much love for you. I’m filled with regret for ever making you feel bad and I can’t explain why I didn’t correct it sooner. I’m not a complete basket case yet. I know what I need to do. I just didn’t think the steps towards a different life would be this small. My parents think these magic pills I’m taking should already have “cured” me, but all I can do is ask God to help and to put my head down and get through this without hurting anyone I love in the process.

When ever I’ve thought about killing myself -don’t freak out I wouldn’t- I just know this is the sickness- I would’ve imagined that I would write long loving letters to the people I cared for, and buy them gifts, or end it quickly. Albeit now, when those thoughts creep into my daydreams they are impulsive and quick. No suicide note. No explanation, just a sunken car that lost control on a bridge or a body found hanging by a belt. It’s sick and disgusting and I’m ONLY telling you any of this because I don’t want you to think you weren’t a good friend to me because you, ______, were the best.

I also don’t want you to think I’m crazy, or incredibly weak.

I think that’s part of the other reason I didn’t want to tell you. I’m not crazy. I’m not overwhelmingly sad. I just have had my passion and love for life almost sucked out of me. I can’t operate without loving fully and being the caring selfless person I want to be. It’s not easy for me to do that now, but it will be again. I can promise you that. So please don’t worry, I am relieved you know and I can talk to you, and I will send you lots of pictures and love from wherever life takes me. Well, I don’t know if I will be back in Athens, or If I will be overseas rekindling my love for life and people the only way I know how -by stripping myself of distractions and possessions and focusing just on selflessly serving others.

This thing comes in waves. I don’t feel like this all the time. I know I am going up from here. I feel so weird and out of place and dramatic saying all of this, but all I can say is that I know what it is and I am trying everyday to fix it. I love you a lot _____, and I will always! Please let me know if you ever need anything and I will drop what I am doing for you. Don’t feel like you need to reply/ I just wanted you to know the entirety of it. Good and bad. I’m sorry that this letter is just a jumbled bunch of unorganized thoughts and emotions, but I finally put it down on paper. Forever loving ya and will always be here, oxoxo- _____.

Ahh, so good to hear from my other Gandhi loving yogi, you would so appreciate the meditations I’ve been sending your way, I invite you to be open and welcome them in as they are sent! That is something new I’ve learned this break in yoga, learn to invite emotions, awareness of body, mind and soul to myself.

And also, Happy New Year beautiful! Get ready for a year full of adventure, challenges, new comings and happiness; iI know these all seem very unachievable, and I am here to tell you they are not. I am going to try to make this short, but I just know it’s not going to end up like that. So to begin, I want you to know I really am happy to hear from you. I ask pay for updates every so often just to ensure that my other lovie is surviving. First of all, I want you to know that I love you so incredibly much. I love the fun, yogi, self less, positive, rainbow living world you. But I also love the heart broken, confused, searching, and surviving you. This is where you get me wrong, I love you, not the way you make me feel or others, the way you look or act, I love the person you are and the person you are to become.

I will always love you as you are, whatever that might be. I will still be here, I will still be me, and I wont ever give up on you. Secondly, thank you for sharing all of that with me. It takes a lot to put everything on paper (or in our world computer screen), it causes a lot of emotions to unfold, I know that because I do that all the time. I also want you to know I won’t ever see you as weak-I know that’s one of the reasons you didn’t want to talk to me, and I apologize for that. The thing is, I’ve been so weak, so weak I didn’t know how to look straight, I didn’t know what I wanted or why I did the things I did. Quite frankly, 2015 brought on the worst year of my life.

And if you are thinking my weak isn’t very weak, think twice, one of my best skills is showing my straight bitch face and bad ass loving attitude, yet hiding my real struggles, because boy is that so much harder to face. I want you to know being weak, it’s not something that should come with a negative connotation.

Feeling weak, its living babe.

I use to think showing weakness or fluctuations in feelings was a sign of being psychotic, but its actually just a sign that you finally are living life, not just experiencing it or going through the motions. This is living, and this is finding yourself. You aren’t suppose to have your life together right now, you aren’t suppose to have your story already written, its a journey, and along the way you will alter yourself, you will change, and most importantly you will grow. This is living, feeling, breathing, struggling, and fighting. Now there is something you need to face, this isn’t like a college friendship, this wasn’t one of those nice to meet ya see ya around friendships, you’re one of my people, you’re family, and that means ill be around to see wherever life takes you. Whether its in Athens, good ole Cumming, or Africa. Hell I don’t care where it is, ____, ______, and I will always be family, and I wanna know all about wherever it is that life takes you. Next step, I’m sorry you have had to go through this without us by your side, and I also understand that’s just how you might have to because that’s how you need to move on and grow, and I hope you know its ok if that’s how.

Its gonna suck, its gonna suck real bad, but yes, life is going to fucking suck.

And yes, ending it right away will end all the problems you are currently facing, but no it will not bring you peace, it will not fix your problems, and you won’t get to look back and see how far you have come, and how proud of yourself you are for getting through it. There’s one thing that you can never let die in your heart, hope. It’s the one thing that’s keeping you here now, subconsciously our minds fault back into always believing what we were taught as a perfect world we will one day reach. And you will, if you hang there, fight for your life, fucking fight like you never have, and you’ll reach a state of peace one day, but that takes a lot of work, heartache, time, and hell of a lot of hope for the future. You are more than what you see, more than what you hear, you are more than what you think, and you are worthy of life, love, and happiness. You are worthy. This day, January 1, 2016, was brought to begin 365 days of life not yet lived, life not yet experienced, and the life unknown. Everything behind us has happened, all the shit we wish was just a memory and not a still feeling. But it is in the past. January 1, 2016 brought us a 365 blank page book, and this year is going to be a good one. I never said easy, I never said happy all the time, but its gonna be one you look back on, reading your book, and think “damn girl, you did it.” You can do this, and I wanna be your pen pal to wherever life takes you, whenever it takes you.

You have a blank book, write your story. Life isn’t about the title of job you hold, the family you have, the things you’ve experienced, its about finding and creating who you are and what you want to be in this life. It took me so long to finally learn that, but I finally did. Nothing in this world leaves this earth with you besides your soul, make it beautiful. Hold your head high darling, you are worth it. The light in me, sees the light in you, namaste bitch, and happy new year <3