When I was younger I always did exactly what was expected of me, but my laters years show that I’ve traveled a very unorthodox path.
In the beginning, I was Mama’s perfect little girl in ruffled dresses with matching shoes and bags; daddy’s little princess; and teacher’s pet. I colored inside the lines. I did what was expected of me.
Then I turned twelve and had an experience that found me (at not yet 5 feet tall) standing toe to toe with my 6’4″ pastor saying to him, bold as brass, “Pastor Mulvihill, I believe that’s called hypocrisy.”
And with that one sentence my world split in two. I still played the games I needed to to survive, but I began to question everything I knew or thought I knew to be true.
I began to read philosophy, to study world religions, to listen intently to conversations that prior to this I would have coward from. Coming from a very conservative Christian background, this was absolute heresy.
I began to write about what I was learning, experiencing, questioning, and where I might want to explore next. I did this in secret because no one I knew thought outside of the prescribed Christian norm. I had no allies on my quest, save my small town librarian.
Consequently, in little ways I began to rebel. I began to stand up for my beliefs, as unpopular or unorthodox in my community as they were. And I stood out like a sore thumb.
But I had gained access to my true north. Tenacious as I was and am, nothing was going to dissuade me from traveling the unorthodox path. Crookedy and unsure as it might have been, it was mine and not one deigned for me. It was a path that I was discovering for myself. One that fit the misfit I felt myself to be.
After I put myself through college, graduating with two degrees, I had my heart set on pursing higher education and Montessori certification.
But I had no visible means of paying for grad school. Daunted? Doubting? Never! I packed up my little blue Volkswagen Rabbit with everything I owned and hopped into the drivers seat to hit the road. I’d figure out a way to make it work.
I kissed my friends I’d been staying with goodbye and started my car’s engine. Then my extra dad, Dennis, said hang on a minute. He promptly returned and handed me a folded piece of paper. I opened it. My mouth dropped.
It was a check for $1000. It would get me in the door. I could, and did, do the rest.
Allowing, as Frank Sinatra sang, for me to do it my way. And I have.
I have taught Montessori toddlers, pre-schoolers, kindergarteners, and been a school administrator. I have worked every station at a 4-star restaurant in the San Francisco Bay. I have had the joy of knowing Julia Child and Jaques Pepin, two of my greatest kitchen heroes. I was the solopreneur of Haute Plate, a fine dining and full service event planning company for over 20 years.
I am a jeweler. I have shipped my pastries and jams all over the world and have a loyal following of marmheads (people addicted to my marmalades). I have traveled with and worked for famous people. I have cleaned houses to pay the rent.
I paint the interior of homes. I sew for others. I make up words for fun. I fall in love constantly. I’m never afraid to take a chance, or to give a second chance. I look for the good and beauty in everything. My resume looks like stone soup.
I have lived with challenges that could have destroyed me, but I have never lost my hold on my passions and my dreams. I have lived my life with the utmost gusto, my way. My unorthodox path has taken me to extraordinary places and I don’t regret anything.
Should I leave this world today, I leave no regrets. I have pursued every dream, every desire, and every passion of my heart to its happy, and in my estimation, successful completion. All this and a heart overflowing with love. What more could I ask for?
(To understand my life’s theme song more fully here are the lyrics to My Way.)
I am a person who prescribes to the thought process that all people are fundamentally good, or at least have the ability to be so.
I find that there is a basic level of good that can be found in all persons, and simply finding that is what can sometimes prove to be difficult.
There is a person I have met who has the kindest heart and the most gentle soul of anyone I have had the pleasure of spending an extended period of time with. Knowing when you are around people like this is highly valuable, because they will seemingly effortlessly improve your life without your notice.
Admittedly, I am an inherently stubborn, short-tempered, and cynical person. Staying conscious of these traits each day helps me work against them, attempting to be more open-minded, patient, and relaxed. However, working alone can be difficult, and support systems are almost always necessary for many walks of life.
I have a person who shows me by example, practically every moment of everyday, how to be everything I am currently not. He encourages me when I am skeptical of my ability to do better. A heart as pure as his cannot go unnoticed, nor unappreciated.
Being an independent person is a quality I have always prided myself on having. However, if you are even better with a partner, why operate alone?
Having an individual in my life who pushes me out of my comfort zone and into a place of transparent change is arguably the best thing for me.
The person I am today is vastly different from the person I was a few years ago. That is because I am not just one person attempting to charge to the world as an island. I am a person more consumed by love, happiness, and trust—qualities I could not have attained by myself. I have become more fundamentally good with this amazing person in my life.
The greatest gift my mother has ever given me was a love for books. As a little girl, she would often read to me; I didn’t realize it then, but those precious moments before bed would turn help me realize the importance and solidarity of girl power.
Long before I was interested in makeup or boys, I was fascinated with literature. It’s a running joke in my family that if I ever went missing I was most likely to be found tucked in a corner somewhere, too engrossed in a book to hear the cries for dinner.
My favorite stories growing up were those of heroes; I was never interested in tales of the damsel in distress, whose only purpose in a novel was to serve as the love interest for the male protagonist.
I idolized characters such as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter and Jo March from Little Women because instinctually, I saw myself in both of them. Brash, bookish, and opinionated, these characters were not princesses but game-changers in the novels they resided in.
I was dismayed that my fellow Americans chose a man who dismissed claims of sexual assault because he concluded the accusers were “too ugly.” Horrified, I read articles that spoke of the possibility of criminalizing abortion, of women losing the right in determining their own healthcare.
In the same year that saw the first female presidential candidate and a chance to break a 238-year-old glass ceiling, we met a man who had a well-documented history of mocking and degrading women. A man who still managed to receive 62 million votes, and claim the title of our future president.
Women did not receive the right to vote in the U.S. until 1920. For many, Roe vs. Wade is more recent memory than history; the landmark Supreme Court trial disallowing state restrictions on abortions did not occur until 1973.
We make 80 cents to a man’s dollar, and in some workplaces women are still penalized for maternity leave. Although women have increased their numbers in the 21st century, men still historically dominate STEM careers.
With the New Year comes with the promise of new changes. 2017 ushers in President-elect Trump, who many fear will doom the country to an unstable fate. But the time for fear is over; instead, it’s time for action.
In the face of seemingly menacing promises, women need to stand up for what they believe in and support their fellow women. We need to stand strong in the face of an administration that seemingly wants to suppress our voices; by electing an individual who so openly disrespected women in the past, his views are not likely to change anytime soon.
Most importantly, we need to educate our youth on the potential of girl power. The girls of tomorrow can be anything they want: a lawyer, doctor, or the first female president. One day, I hope to raise a daughter like my mom raised me; someone who’s passionate with a love of reading, who is inspired and encouraged to reach for their dreams.
My whole life I’ve been told to pay attention. I was told that I would never do well in school because I couldn’t stay focused. It wasn’t until much later that I realized I had ADD.
When I was four, I learned how to tie my shoe laces. About a week afterwards, I completely forgot how. I sat on the stairs of my childhood home, completely baffled with myself.
At the time, I never understood why I couldn’t remember; my parents just thought I was being a typical four-year-old who constantly forgot things.
Once I started school, things got worse. I would come home from school and my mom would ask me how my day went and I would just reply with a simple, “Good.” The honest truth was that there were parts of my day I couldn’t even remember.
My mom pleaded with my teacher to let me pass if I got my reading and math skills up.
Every night after school, I had to sit at the table with my mom and go through everything I learned at school that day.
This would take hours. We would sit at the kitchen table from when I got home to when I went to bed. The rules consisted of no playing with friends, watching TV, or playing sports until my reading and math levels went up.
I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn’t remember simple things. This routine continued on for about four years. My parents tried everything: from having me stay after school with teachers, to my grandma (who is a retired teacher) tutoring me, to even enrolling me in an after-school learning program. Even with all their efforts, none of it worked.
Come to find out I had something called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This basically means that I struggle with focusing on one thing.
Think of it like focusing on five things at once, all day every day. Then when your brain says I’ve had enough, it “shuts down.”
From the outside, it appears like you are daydreaming, but on the inside, you are actually fighting to get out of this state of aimlessly staring at something irrelevant for a countless amount of time.
They made me feel stupid, as if I wasn’t as smart as everyone else. From that point forward, I vowed to myself that I was going to do whatever it took to get out of these classes.
By the time I reached middle school, my reading and math levels were up to a sixth grade level. I believe this did not happen because I was in special education classes; this happened because of my determination to make myself better.
I worked hard every single day. When I got home, I sat in my room and re-taught myself everything we went over in class. Once I was caught up in school, my parents finally allowed me to pick a sport I wanted to play. I chose volleyball and absolutely loved it.
In high school, I even took a couple honors courses. I never told my teachers about my disability; I always wanted to be treated like a normal student. I hate special treatment.
When my mom told my teachers about it at the end of the year, they were always dumbstruck because it never seemed like I had any issues with paying attention. Most of my friends didn’t even notice until I told them about it.
I kept it as my little secret because I never wanted anyone to treat me like I was stupid or slow because of it.
Not only did it help me excel in school, but it also helped me become a great volleyball player. Turns out, having ADD is great for volleyball, I can focus on five things at once and not be overwhelmed and still get the job done.
I blame ADD for making me a self-determined person. I would not be a D1 volleyball player at Georgia State University without it. It has shown me so much about my personal strength and how I can do anything I put my mind to.
God gave me ADD for a reason; He gave me this challenge because I was strong enough to overcome it. I no longer see my ADD as a disability. Instead, I see it as a gift.
I have been working as a freelancer for the past two years now. I often get asked if it’s easy and what it’s like to be self-employed, so I thought I would tell my story.
I love my freelance life and I couldn’t be happier that I made the decision to do it alone, but it hasn’t been easy and there are definitely pros and cons to both kinds of lifestyle. Whether you succeed in one or the other ,I think it comes down to what you want to achieve and what kind of person you are.
I stayed late and worked extra hours and was very involved in the corporate mission for greatness, but for me the time frame in this environment just didn’t cut it. I saw no direct reward for the extra effort I was putting in and being told I would be up for a pay review in 6-9 months didn’t motivate me to stay.
For some people I understand that the security of a regularly paid job, coupled with the more standard career route of rising through the ranks is a dream come true, but it turns out I wanted something different.
I don’t think I actually appreciated that I wanted to work for myself until I quit my job and went for it. I’ve never been as scared as I was when I made the decision to quit. I had worked my whole life to land that corporate city job…nearly 20 years in education!
I had some savings behind me, and the intention of finding a more rewarding and higher paid role. I spent a few weeks enjoying my new found freedom in the city but naturally got a little bored, so I started helping some friends with various projects, while interviewing for full-time roles.
A month or so after quitting I was involved in several freelance projects and actually being paid for most of them! I decided that I would push back finding another full time job and see how I could get on with self-employment.
I had accidentally become a freelancer. Over the first few months I taught myself a lot of new skills while doing projects at the same time. I spent hours networking, learning, and building my personal brand. I’ve never been happier.
At least one working day a week should be spent on building relationships and sourcing new work to make sure that you don’t end up finishing a project with no new work in site.
One of the biggest perks of the job for me is that I can carry on learning while I am earning. I put a lot of my cash back into my education, as a business would with its employee training. This is another really important thing to remember to make sure you stay ahead of the curve in your industry.
It is also important to get into a good work/life balance routine. It can be very easy to work all hours of the day, especially as you see more and more money coming in. However, taking a break will mean you perform better and ultimately will get more work in the long term.
It took me a while to figure this one out but now I work normal working hours, just from the comfort of my own home. I can get up slowly, exercise, have a healthy breakfast, and watch the news. I don’t have to fight with angry commuters and so I save about 2 hours a day of travel time (which I use for personal development).
So long as I keep in touch with clients and the work gets done, they don’t care where I am.
So now that you know my story, here are some top tips for becoming a top notch freelancer and kicking ass at life:
Being a freelancer comes with its risks and rewards, but, for me, it has been one of the best decisions that I’ve ever made.
I remember my first day in school at Georgia Military College. It was quiet on campus. The freshly cut green yard had signs that said, “No walking on grass.” The buildings, looming with castle-like features, faced each other across that untouchable landscape. Where in the world was I? Was this college? What kind of hard work would I have to do here? It definitely didn’t look like the movies.
That was the question I asked myself when I attended the first day of school at Georgia Military College (GMC). I had always dreamed of going to college, playing next-level soccer, and that the military was a part of that dream. Georgia Military College had that perfect mesh, or so I thought. In the end, however, I must tell you that GMC was quite frankly one of my only choices.
Let’s quickly rewind to the last year of my high school career. I had one of the best senior classes. The high school football season was incredible. Soccer was my life and I was deeply set on going to the next level by being a part of travel teams and a state-bound varsity team. I was attending other sporting events, painting up, hanging out at house parties, and preparing myself for prom and graduation.
Then, I noticed something quite peculiar about my friends. They were all getting acceptance letters from schools… University of Georgia. Georgia Tech. Alabama. Auburn. Georgia Southern.
I had been in contact with tons of soccer coaches around the nation to join a college team, but I had no acceptance papers to waive in the air. I was never in that sort of rush. Once I saw some of my friends’ acceptance letters, I realized my time in high school was coming to an end.
I remember going home and emailing a lot of my coaches and seeing how I could finalize the signing process. The only problem was that I was afraid my grades were not going to get me far. That was one thing I did not put the most attention toward in high school.
I had many schools at the top of my list, but at the end of the day, many of them did not have me at the top of their list. In the finale of my high school days, I chose my best match, Georgia Military College, because of the potential soccer scholarship, military ideals, small size, the good price, and the proximity to home, and… because they accepted me.
Two older gentlemen, dressed in army camouflage breezed by me as I watched others in formation. I could see two edges of campus, given how relatively small in size the school’s property was. A single flag pole stood in the middle to break the uneasy silence, crackling in the late summer wind.
The semester began fast and, before I knew it, soccer was starting too. After a few weeks, I wasn’t sure if I had made the right choice. I remember thinking how I had let myself down in high school by not having the right mindset and how that culminated to where I was. GMC was almost too small – smaller than my high school actually.
It was close to home, but the town did not offer a quarter of what my hometown offered. On top of everything, I kept getting crushed by the response of people when I told them I was attending a junior college. I could sense that people considered junior college students as underachievers. It’s a stigma all community college students face.
I researched other schools while I was in class. “Anything,” I thought. I looked around in the state of Georgia and even out of state. Where could I go that was more traditional? Where would I get accepted? I applied to Kennesaw State University (KSU), where most of my closest friends went.
I was going to get out of Georgia Military College and move on to bigger things, I thought. However, within a month, KSU replied back. I vividly remember opening that letter in front of my parents, who knew the bad news before I did. “Unfortunately,” it read atop the page. I was not accepted. I was crushed. I was officially stuck in a town where I felt I didn’t belong and stuck at a school where I felt I was going to make no progress.
The next semester started and I promised myself that I would be more attentive to school and that I would get more involved – something I had never really paid full attention too. I thought if I worked my tail off, maybe I could get into Kennesaw State University the following year.
I studied every night. I read the textbooks. I went to the library. I never missed a class – not even my 7:50am classes. I focused on putting in the time on the soccer field. No more video games. No more wasting time. I started working a job at a sandwich restaurant in order to gain some capital for whichever school was next. My life was moving. I noticed an increase in my GPA and I was making the Dean’s List. My bank account had also increased. My soccer team was doing better than it had ever done in the history of the school.
I felt like everything was working out toward that ultimate goal of transferring. The best news, however, was when I heard in one of my classes that there was an invite-only honor society for students, which helped most students get into large four-year universities. I talked to my teacher after class and tried to figure out how I could get involved.
I thought that they could help me transfer. She saw my GPA and then told me that it was possible that I could get a letter in the mail. I waited and waited and it finally arrived: one of the most pivotal moments in my life. I called my parents and begged them to help me with the membership fees.
The next semester I was inducted into Phi Theta Kappa (PTK). I felt on top of the world. I reviewed what I did and realized that if I focused more and gave more effort then more things would happen like PTK. So I focused more and gave more effort. I was elected Chapter President of Phi Theta Kappa at my school (Alpha Omicron Epsilon) and then selected as Phi Theta Kappa Regional President.
I helped host the Regional Convention and I earned the Distinguished Order of the Leader Servant Award, which represented 100+ hours of community service. I met with the mayor of our town, the president of our school, and many other distinguished people. I couldn’t believe what I had reached and the experiences I was having. I didn’t want to leave.
The problem was that I had never given it enough – but when I did, the door to opportunity opened up right in front of me.
My last semester approached of junior college and it was time for the next step: applying to a four-year university. It was a weird experience for me, having already been let down by other schools. Georgia Military College was where I wanted to be.
I didn’t think I would have a better time anywhere else. Then, I thought to myself, “Corey, this school is a stepping stone. It is where you realized your potential. It’s where you realized what it takes to be successful. Now replicate you hard work at the next school. Make your impact on a larger scale.”
My faculty, advisors, and PTK members helped me begin the process that every student in junior college goes through: transferring to a larger university. It is very common to receive an Associate’s Degree and then continue on towards a Bachelor’s – its’ actually the new norm.
My dad told me to create a list and do research on what each school offered. He told me to dream big and to not limit myself. I started creating a list and of course Kennesaw State was at the top… I knew that I could get in now. I remember speaking with dad and he said, “You know there are more schools than KSU right? Why don’t you try some other ones?” Eventually, after I did my research, I realized he was right.
My list extended and Kennesaw dropped to 9th of 15 possibilities. Schools like Georgia Tech, The University of Florida, Florida State University, Flagler College, Auburn University, The University of Georgia, University of Central Florida, and The University of South Florida were on the list (not in that order). I couldn’t believe it, but every school I wanted to go to was now an option.
I applied to each one and the first one to come back was the one I had longed for… Kennesaw State. “Accepted.” I showed my parents and then shared with all of my friends that I had been accepted.
The decision to attend KSU was made before I could realize it. Even though I had put Kennesaw at 9th, it bolted back to the top. I was looking up where to live, talking to friends who lived there, and looking at everything 50 times on their website. It was going to be incredible.
The school that students with perfect GPA’s and SAT scores got denied from. The outside of the envelope said it all, “Accepted.” I couldn’t believe it. The University of Georgia accepted me.
Suddenly, my dreams of attending Kennesaw were sent into limbo. I laid both envelopes on my desk and watched many others come in over the next few weeks. Most were hand-written and some with special offerings and educational scholarships. With a little hard work, things were beginning to fall in place… I was always set on going to Kennesaw, but after a long decision process, and a talk with my parents, The University of Georgia would be my next home.
There is a major quote that is probably over said that I would like to share. It is and probably always will be my favorite quote: “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got.” – Antony Robbins. The truth of that quote is far more than I can explain in my college story and it speaks wonders to me.
By working hard and changing what I always did, things began to change for me. I had been accepted to The University of Georgia. After attending the Phi Theta Kappa National Conference in San Jose, California, I was offered a position with the World Leading Learning Company, Pearson Education.
I have since then been promoted to Regional Coordinator position in the Pearson Campus Ambassador Program. I also participated as a Social Media Strategist and started my own blog, coreygeary, which has produced over 7,000 views to date.
I have traveled to San Jose, New York City, Disney World, Boston, and I look to travel to San Antonio and San Francisco this year all thanks to the opportunities at my job and school. I have given speeches in front of students and wrote many articles on why students need to give it their all. I am currently a senior at The University of Georgia where I attend classes at The Terry College of Business, one of the nation’s most prestigious undergraduate business schools.
I have also taken on the role of a second job in student housing. In May of 2016, I will graduate with a Bachelors of Business Administration in Management. On top of all of that, I am currently co-founding a business that focuses on the importance of mentorship to students, which will make its debut in the fall of 2016. Life is moving forward at light speed.
From what I knew four years ago out of high school to now, the most important lesson I can reiterate is that quote by Antony Robbins. If I had stayed on that path of doing just enough and quitting when things got too bad to go back to old ways, then I would have not had the experiences that I’ve had. It’s about being persistent and making the change you want to see. You are what you make yourself.
One last note: If it wasn’t for the people I’m about to thank, that change would have been very hard to accomplish. I want to personally thank my mom and dad for being by my side every step of the way. Being a first generation college student has a lot of pressure on a family and you two took all of the pressure off of me with your support and love.
Thank you to Mrs. Zipperer, Lt. Col. Edward Shelor, and Celes Mason for molding me into a leader and showing me the way to success at Georgia Military College. Thank you to Pearson and Kara Manis for giving me a chance to lead and create, and to be a part of the Pearson Family. Thank you Allison Jones for being a mentor far before you were my official mentor.
Thank you to my family and friends, and importantly those who walked with me at Georgia Military College and at Phi Theta Kappa who took on a similar mission. I couldn’t have done it alone.
What’s your vision for next week? The next semester? The next year? For your life? All of these questions were posed to me while in attendance at the LeaderShape Institute retreat in the 2013 summer with 64 other Auburn University students. These were difficult questions for me to answer at the time, but now I have a vision for my life.
Originally from Roswell, Georgia, I attended a small Catholic high school called Blessed Trinity. Being a private school kid almost my whole life, I had the wonderful blessing of going from 1st grade to high school knowing about 80% of the same people.
Naturally a tight knit community, you know everyone’s story, what their weekend plans are, and all too much about their entire family. In hindsight, I think it is what made my childhood and teenager years unique in a good way. Despite knowing too much sometimes, we all had each other’s backs.
I bought into the concept of “The Auburn Family” and what it means to look at your classmate on your left and on your right and give a simple look, smile, or nod that meant you had their back because we all believe in this university and what it stands for. Many argue it’s a marketing ploy, and I will argue against that until the day I die. It’s real and it’s so difficult to explain without experiencing it for yourself.
Moving onward, freshman year was overwhelming. New place, new people, and new culture. Being on campus and finding my niche within my new home was exhausting. Perseverance is what kept me in the game.
Perseverance to work hard at everything I do and push myself to be a better man in Christ and a better man in society. My practice of this “attitude” has helped me be who I am today. I had the vision to work hard and be a better man. However, that vision I had for myself at Auburn took a bit of a turn at the conclusion of my freshman year.
Eluding to my earlier reference of a tight community at home, it was always (and still is) very common practice for me to get together with my high school friends every time I went back home. Whether it be a long break or just a weekend, we became our little family all over again.
Questions swirled in the air and the solutions weren’t obvious. It was an unexpected blow after a difficult freshman year. Our little family back home moved on after awhile, but I was still confused and lost for answers. Towards the end of sophomore year I begin to do some research on student-led mental health organizations at college campuses.
An organization catches my eye: Active Minds Inc. For those who do not know, Active Minds Inc. is an international non-profit organization that works to “utilize the student voice to change the conversation about mental health on college campuses.”
A light bulb went off in my head, Auburn needed this…heck, every campus needed something like this! How difficult would this be to get set up? *cue LeaderShape Institute logo*
LeaderShape is a one-week leadership development retreat that gives young leaders the opportunity to learn more about themselves and other leaders at their respective universities. LeaderShape changed my perspective leadership and the students that make up Auburn.
After attending the retreat and personally reflecting I knew what I had to focus on.
So right there the work and the vision began. The chapter officially launched in September 2013. The vision had finally become a reality. The sense of confidence and pride I had knowing my hard work and determination had turned into something tangible was incredible.
I am proud to say that our Active Minds chapter is now two years strong. We’ve made name for ourselves on campus through fundraisers, walks, outreach events, information meetings, and working with university officials to help others and even save lives by providing hope to those who may not know where to find it.
Starting an organization was not something my freshman-self thought I could do, but it gave me an insight into what I could do in the future. As Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
Make that reality one of hope, happiness, and kindness. I’ve been more conscious of trying to do this every day and I believe the quality of my life has improved because of it. Wake up and set your vision for the day and ask how can I make this vision a reality.
I’ve been blessed with many opportunities in my life and I’ve had my fair share of failures too. Active Minds was an opportunity and a vision for me and I am forever grateful to have been able to serve the university through it.
Now it’s about time for me to start focusing on my vision for post-grad life. I’m not sure what it may hold just yet, but I’m ready to take on life’s challenges to the best of my ability and I hope you do the same. So ask yourself, what is your vision for tomorrow?
Life is crazy. Life is weird. Life is unexpected. “Life” is all about how you choose to live it. As you get older, you start to ponder about your life and your future more often. You get scared, you get sad, you get worried, and you get anxious. In the midst of all these emotions, you are living your life, never stopping to think about the ending to it. But what if one day your life suddenly ended? What if an unexpected tragedy occurred and you lost someone? Even worse, someone close to you. Your world is all of a sudden shattered and you question why it happened and what you could’ve done to stop it.
UGA lost four beautiful souls on the night of April 27th. What happened was completely unexpected and completely devastating. How is it that they are they alive and laughing and physically there one second, and in the next, just gone forever? It doesn’t make sense to me, and doesn’t make sense to most people.
However, I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe God needed them up in heaven and they had fulfilled their duties here on Earth. Maybe it was their time to go and be with Him. We don’t know; we will never know. No one saw it coming; no one could stop what happened.
But what about the families and the best friends of the victims? How do they possibly lessen the pain of their loss? How do they wake up everyday and not remember over and over again that their loved one isn’t there? My heart is aching for the families of Christina, Halle, Kayla, and Brittany. Knowing that all four of those best friends are in Heaven hand in hand is putting me at peace, and I hope everyone else mourning can think of that too.
I’ve lost very few people throughout my life and for that I’m thankful, because I don’t know how I would handle it. I am so incredibly blown away by the strength of humans, especially in the time of mourning a loved one. I’ve watched one of my good friends go through the loss of his little sister in this horrible car accident, and I am constantly amazed. How does he have the strength to even see people? Talk to people? Answer his texts and post on Facebook? But then I soon realized, life does go on.
They want us to be happy. All your loved one wanted when they were here was for you to be happy, and nothing’s changed even though they’re in a different place.
They aren’t suffering or in pain, they’re in a place full of happiness, love, and good people, and what makes them happier than anything is looking down knowing that you are happy.
So, for all of those out there suffering from the loss of a loved one, live your life not only for you, but for them. Finish out what they started, and live with them inside you every single day. Think about how they would have wanted you to live and carry out their lives. Let their beautiful souls shine through you. We only have one life, so choose to live it wisely. However that is you choose, just know that your loved ones are never actually gone. They’re woven throughout you and everything that you do. They radiate off of you and your strength. Take this life and make it the best it can be, for you, for your loved ones, and for the man upstairs that’s always there for you.
I’ve always wanted to be a difference-maker. I always wanted to be part of something bigger than myself and inspire millions. Four months ago, I found my way and my mission in life. I decided to turn my adversity into something bigger than myself and be of service. My story began 22 years ago when my life changed forever…
War broke out in 1992. Serbian troops began occupying my hometown of Livno, a small town in Bosnia and Herzegovina. Bosnia and Herzegovina, along with neighboring Croatia, were at war with Serbia in what was to be called the Patriotic War. I and my mom escaped to Germany to be with her aunt while my father stayed and fought in the war.
One morning, my cousin Marc took me for a walk through his German town. On our walk, Marc was teasing me about seeing the animals, saying he would throw me to the dogs at the zoo. Just after he joked about it, someone passed by us walking their dogs and he jostled me towards them. They were barking at me so loud, I was terrified. I was so intimidated that I couldn’t talk for a moment. Marc just laughed while I stood paralyzed.
I was crying my eyes out, but it was all just amusing to him. He finally put me down and explained to me that he was joking, but I was beyond terrified by his bullying. I experienced severe stuttering and couldn’t speak fluently afterwards.
This would have been the end of my story if I was a different person. There are people who don’t fight when it gets tough, who accept reality and the limitations imposed by others. But I’m fighter, I always have been, and I wasn’t going to stop there.
Although I suffered so much because of that one man, he helped me to find my way to make a difference and help millions of people. To me, that was God directing my steps.
Two years ago I started expressing my feelings and findings with stuttering on paper. I wrote about my childhood and my struggles. I wrote about my mom. I brought back all these memories and I cried like a baby, but I never stopped writing. Sometimes I wrote for hours locked in my room. I wrote about some useful techniques that I use in dealing with stuttering and how I trained my mind by focusing on my environment in order to speak fluently. It was liberating to write and share my findings on paper.
Then, in May 2016, I decided that I should turn all my notes in into a book that would change people’s lives and help them speak fluently. I decided to hire an editor and embark on this journey. Journey of service and contribution. Journey of hope and light in the world.
Then someday while I was reflecting on my life, it dawned on me. I found my purpose for living. All these years I was running away from stuttering and avoiding talking about it. But not anymore. My purpose is to inspire and encourage millions of people who stutter each day with my life story.
I’ve finished the book and it’s on its way to being published. The title is “Overcoming Stuttering, My Story: Five Ways to Speaking Fluently Forever.” The release date is April 3rd 2017 and I cannot be more happy and excited. In order to make a big difference in the world, I decided to send all the profits from my book to building schools for kids in Guatemala with the organization Pencils of Promise. I also want to dedicate it to my late mother. Why?
One day, friend asked me, “What is your motivation for doing this if it’s not for money or fame?” I said to him, “My motivation is seeing the faces of those kids when I build that school and seeing people speaking fluently after they read my book. Knowing that I made a difference in somebody’s life. There is no greater motivation than that.”
This is how I plan to make a difference and make this world a better place. Now it’s your turn. How are you going to make a difference in the world?
As our past selves make appearances in our present and our future, it can become difficult to keep hold of the glory that is ourselves. But we have to be stronger than our past.
In life we have many experiences: some extraordinary, others abysmal and some we are just plain indifferent to. We choose to either feel these things or to not feel them.
Lives where we can create, shape, mold, but also dismantle, destroy, and overturn. We are comprised of moments that we wish we could replay a million times in our heads, and moments that we wish to simply erase.
It is in these innate moments, in these details, that we can choose to become broken by the world or choose to thrive in a world that’s broken.
I personally had to learn how to do this. For years, I was haunted by low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Based on events and chapters of my past, I would get discouraged when trying to live my life’s story.
Having a father who died, a mother who struggled with addiction and was rarely in my life, years of abandonment issues, incidents of sexual abuse occur, and many other things I’ve experienced in life have shaped who I am.
It took three attempted suicides, a trip to the suicide ward, and various therapy sessions to realize that my life was built upon the feeling of unworthiness. This was not the life I wanted to live anymore. It wasn’t a life that I was meant to live.
It became clear to me that after every attempt to kill myself, I was still alive, my heart refused to stop beating. I came to a realization within myself that I was stronger than I ever thought. It was then I decided that I, not my situations in life, would declare what and who I am.
Careful but sometimes careless. I am confident yet scared at times, terrified about life and also excited. I am misunderstood, misguided, and sometimes misled. I am hardworking and determined. I believe in passion. I pray to God, wish on stars, and dream my dreams.
In order to reach this level of self I had to go through a lot of rough patches but I know that if I were to reverse any of it, I wouldn’t be where I am today. So I remember to simply live. To make mistakes and have a wonderful time doing so. To never be ashamed of where I have been, and most importantly to embrace where it is that I am going. Though I still have rough times and experience moments where I am insecure, I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought.